“What?”

“I don’t need your help,” Harlan said. “I don’t need you to come to my rescue.”

“But, I wasn’t—”

“I can handle guys like MacKinnon myself.”

Argus was about to say something in response, but Harlan turned his back on him and walked away.

“Hey, c’mon,” Argus pleaded. “I was just trying to —”

But Harlan kept going. He knew it was wrong, but he was so angry he didn’t know what else to do.

* * *

“Harlan isn’t too happy with me,” Argus said as he slid into a seat next to Noble at their usual table closest to the door in the cafeteria.

“I heard.”

“You did?” Argus asked in surprise. “But how could you—”

“A couple of guys told me about Harlan’s run-in with MacKinnon. They said you showed up at the end and scared MacKinnon off. I’m guessing Harlan didn’t appreciate the help.”

“No, he didn’t,” Argus said, unwrapping a ham and cheese sandwich and making half of it disappear with a single bite. “But I didn’t do anything to that weasel MacKinnon, didn’t even say anything to him,” Argus said around a mouthful of sandwich. “I know Harlan wants to fight his own battles, but how can he expect me to stand by and do nothing when he’s being pushed around by a human?” When Argus said the last word he leaned in close to Noble and whispered it like it was a secret word that no one else would understand.

Noble shrugged and took a sip from his milk carton. “There are things we could do to MacKinnon.”

“Like what?”

“We could arrange to have someone give him a nuclear wedgie. You know, the kind where the underwear gets pulled up around the guy’s ears.”

Argus snickered. That would be nice. Wedgies like that hurt like hell, and there was no graceful way to pull the underwear out of your crack. Half the fun was watching someone trying to set themselves right. But as much as Argus wanted MacKinnon to get his, he knew it would never work. The smile lingered on Argus’s face for a moment. When it was gone he turned to Noble and said, “But that would only make MacKinnon more angry at the world, and he’d end up taking it out on Harlan anyway.”

Noble nodded. “And if word ever got around to Harlan that we’d arranged it, he’d never forgive us.”