As I stumbled behind my glitterati godmother, I mouthed to Faith, “Save me.”

She only laughed and waved me off.

The glitterati life was fun, but I was starting to see it for what it was. The same crowd at different venues, looking vaguely bored and searching for something to entertain them.

A month ago, I never would have dreamed of this place. A few weeks and a transatlantic flight later, I was bypassing club lines, hanging out in VIP, and being flirted with by guys who were so beautiful they made me feel inadequate. Like Easton.

Nevertheless, I was kidding myself if I thought I was skipping Alexi’s birthday. Just the idea of seeing him again made my heart race. I didn’t want to examine those feelings too closely. Because then I’d have to think about what that meant.

It’s just a crush. A crush is safe. You know better than to look for more.

Besides, I’d made a promise to myself. I was going to live every experience. I was going to find joy in the mundane. For years, I’d been a shell of myself.

True, I knew what happened when I danced too close to a flame because I was enthralled, but… I wasn’t going to let that happen again.

As usual, Max and the boys took care of me while Sophie flitted about hugging and air kissing the beautiful people. I had always wondered how she managed it—to be equal parts sincere and fabulous.

Two sake shots and one absinth drink later, I still hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the birthday boy. Head buzzing and needing some air, I trudged up the dingy back stairs looking for the roof. Maybe it was for the best that I’d yet to see Alexi.

It didn’t matter what he did to my insides; he was first and foremost a guy, so I’d have to be careful. Secondly, he was out of my league. And finally, he was too much like Easton—too handsome, with access to money and power. I’d fallen for the smooth, good-guy image before. I wasn’t going to be fooled again. I couldn’t afford to be. I already had too many scars from my first encounter.

I shoved open the sticky rooftop door, and the chilled air immediately cleared my alcohol-fogged mind of any Easton thoughts. I wasn’t going to think about him or what I’d left behind. Or worse, how I’d let myself be treated. And I was certainly not going to think about how I’d left it all behind. I was going to focus entirely on my life. This new experience. I would only be able to live in this dream world for so long, and I wanted to enjoy every single aspect of it. Even if it did feel like a fantasy.