“I can’t. It’s written all over your face. The tight set of your mouth. When you smile, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Your body has a rigidity to it. Especially in your shoulders. Like you’re poised and ready to take action on something. Not to mention you’re fidgety as hell.”

I immediately stopped playing with the hem on my hoodie. “I am not fidgety.”

“Come on. Why don’t you just tell me what it is? Is it Gemma?”

I was careful to keep my voice neutral. “When did you become an agony aunt? I’m fine.”

Xander narrowed his eyes and studied me as we came to the stop sign at the campus exit. “No, it’s not Gemma, but it is a woman. Go ahead and tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong.” I kept my face averted toward the window. Maybe dinner with Xander had been a bad idea.

“You forget I know you better than anyone. Who is she?”

I dropped my head against the headrest. “She’s no one. Just a girl. I don’t even know her name.” But as luck would have it, I’d seen her with Max’s girlfriend, which meant if I was so inclined, I could track her down.

Xander shook his head. “See, I’ve got the skills of a detective. Maybe when this photography thing is over I should join Scotland Yard. Screw that, I’m going big. MI-6 all the way.”

Despite myself, I laughed. “You’re full of shit.”

“Maybe, but I figured out some woman is tying you in knots. Gemma got a clue?”

Xander was the only one who knew the truth behind my relationship with Gemma. And he thought I was insane to go along with it. “There’s nothing to tell Gemma. I haven’t done anything, and I’m not going to.” I said through clenched teeth. I couldn’t pursue it. I wanted it too much.

“Yeah right. You’ve got the look of a man on a tight string.” Xander shook his head as he easily navigated the streets of Ealing on his way to the motorway. “Though I have to say, I like this look on you.”

I frowned. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, I dunno. I feel like you’ve used your relationship with Gemma as an excuse to never get close to anyone. Sure, you have a discrete dalliance here, a hot fling there, but you’ve never had to be in a real relationship with someone you care about who would actually have to get to know the real you.”

“Shut it, Xander.”

Xander laughed. “Why? Because I’m telling you the truth? You are avoiding intimacy because you’re afraid of what you’ll have to show and share. It’s classic.”