The answer was quick. It jumped right off my tongue as if I've been holding on to it like the sour taste of lemons in my mouth for far too long. "Because he betrayed me the first time he put his hands on me."

She nodded. "And that's fair. He betrayed you again and again, didn't he?"

I nodded. "I didn't even think of it as bad at the time. I don't know what's wrong with me that I believed everything he said like it was my fault and that I was responsible."

Her smile was soft. "Well, there's a part of you that held yourself responsible."

"But I didn't ask for that," I whispered.

She nodded, but more in an encouraging way. And I kept talking. When I finally tripped over the answer she was looking for, she put her pen down. "Tell me Abbie, why do you feel responsible?"

Something tickled my cheek, and I swiped at it before I realized that it was a tear. I was crying. In a stranger's office. Fan-fucking-tastic. "Because I stayed. Because I didn't tell anyone. After that first time, I should have told someone. I should have run fast."

She nodded. "So, you and I are going to work on you not feeling like that. You and I are going to work on the things that led you to that position, to that moment where someone hurt you and betrayed your trust, and you blamed yourself. And we’re going to figure out all the reasons why."

"God, I'm to blame."

She sat forward and put her hand over mine. "No, you are not. That’s not how this works. Here, inside these doors, we tell the truth, and we put the blame where it belongs. When you met him, you were a kid. But I suspect there is a very strong woman in there who's been battling her way out, who's been propping you up. She's the woman who walked out on him. She’s the woman who walked out on your parents. She's the woman who flew halfway around the world for a chance to be amazing. Without anything encumbering her, she made it happen, so I want you to focus on that part of you."

I nodded. “I'm scared. I'm not going to lie. I'm scared that he's going to come here and find me. I am scared that I'll be weak and go back. I'm scared of maybe meeting someone and not being able to have a normal relationship because he’ll move too quickly. I'm young. I should meet lots of someones. I shouldn’t have to be afraid of my own shadow."

"I think you should be meeting lots of someones. If you’d walked in here and you told me you were still in love with him, that you were still heartbroken, I’d feel differently. But I think you haven't been in love with him for a long time."