Chapters (31)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Contents
- Room in the Dark I
- Fawns of the Diaspora Court Liliane in Paris, While Tabou Combo Whispers “Coq Qualité” in Her Ears
- Room in the Dark II
- “I Usedta Drink, Smoke and Do the Hoochie-Koo,” or What’s a Girl to Do When Her Mother Looks Like Ruth Brown
- Room in the Dark III
- “El Bochinche” es que only Fe Cortijo Knows or All the LeBron Brothers Know If Victor-Jésus María Sang Lili to Her Freedom
- Room in the Dark IV
- And Where Is Garnett Mimms?
- Room in the Dark V
- I Know Where Kansas City Is, But Did Wilbert Harrison Ever Get There?
- Room in the Dark VI
- Zoom Went the Strings of Liliane’s Heart, But Arsenio Rodriguez Could Have Told Her the Music Sounds Just as Sweet When We’re Blind and Still We See
- Room in the Dark VII
- I Know Where the E Train Stops But I’m “Sendin’ Out an S.O.S.” and I’m Not Edwin Starr Either
- Room in the Dark VIII
- “Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby” or Wouldn’t It Be Great If the Lead Singer of The Crests Wasn’t a White Boy and I Could Be My Mother?
- Room in the Dark IX
- Every Time My Lil World Seems Blue, I Just Haveta Look at You and Learn Eye-Hand Coordination
- Room in the Dark X
- “That’s Why I Love Her So and Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I Want to Know” or Why Jackie Wilson Died in Silence
- Room in the Dark XI
- There’s No Use Cryin’ “Forever” or Hyacinthe Returns from a Very Blue Holiday for Real B(l)ack at Ya
- Room in the Dark XII
- Lollie Struts Her Stuff Thru “The Sea of Love” or the Brides of Frankenstein Catch the Bouquet
- By Ntozake Shange
- Acknowledgments
- Copyright
——— See. You just don’t know how to leave things alone.
——— What would you have me leave alone?
——— This is hard enough as it is, without having to mull over my every single word and pause. I’ll forget what I wanted to say and where I was going with it.
——— So now you are composing your sessions before you even see me?
——— No, this is what I’m talking about. You’re confusing me.
——— What seems confusing may in fact be the beginning of understanding.
——— Jesus. All I wanted to tell you was that I called Daddy.
——— Yes.
——— I called Daddy. I asked him right out where my mother was.
——— Yes.
——— I said “Daddy, I know Mommy didn’t die. Where did she go? And how could you do this to me? How could you?”
——— That was very brave, Liliane.
——— You’re as crazy as he is. How can it be brave to live with the truth, when the lie was so much worse.
——— Not everyone is able to do that.
——— Not able to do what?
——— Not everyone is able to see the heinous in “lies” that support what is their truth, or truths. It’s easier sometimes to imagine that lies are true, so we can avoid having to question ourselves, what our truths are.
——— His beliefs or truths are the last goddamn things on my mind. How could a grown man just change my whole life, leave me feeling like an orphan, telling people for years that my mama was dead, I didn’t have a mama, when he knew the whole time that she was no more dead than me or you? Every time I think about this my breathing is so heavy. I can’t get enough air. I can’t move. I feel all this pressure on my chest and my legs like I was deep-sea diving, but I haven’t gone anywhere. I haven’t gone anywhere at all.
——— Are you so sure, Liliane?
——— Am I so sure what? That I haven’t gone anywhere? Yes. I’m right here where I always am.
——— But where you are is very different now than it was before our last time together. Your mother isn’t dead. Your father lied to you for so many years that the truth is now suspect and tenuous. You are not a little girl whose mother is at the bottom of the sea somewhere.