Chapters (31)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Contents
- Room in the Dark I
- Fawns of the Diaspora Court Liliane in Paris, While Tabou Combo Whispers “Coq Qualité” in Her Ears
- Room in the Dark II
- “I Usedta Drink, Smoke and Do the Hoochie-Koo,” or What’s a Girl to Do When Her Mother Looks Like Ruth Brown
- Room in the Dark III
- “El Bochinche” es que only Fe Cortijo Knows or All the LeBron Brothers Know If Victor-Jésus María Sang Lili to Her Freedom
- Room in the Dark IV
- And Where Is Garnett Mimms?
- Room in the Dark V
- I Know Where Kansas City Is, But Did Wilbert Harrison Ever Get There?
- Room in the Dark VI
- Zoom Went the Strings of Liliane’s Heart, But Arsenio Rodriguez Could Have Told Her the Music Sounds Just as Sweet When We’re Blind and Still We See
- Room in the Dark VII
- I Know Where the E Train Stops But I’m “Sendin’ Out an S.O.S.” and I’m Not Edwin Starr Either
- Room in the Dark VIII
- “Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby” or Wouldn’t It Be Great If the Lead Singer of The Crests Wasn’t a White Boy and I Could Be My Mother?
- Room in the Dark IX
- Every Time My Lil World Seems Blue, I Just Haveta Look at You and Learn Eye-Hand Coordination
- Room in the Dark X
- “That’s Why I Love Her So and Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I Want to Know” or Why Jackie Wilson Died in Silence
- Room in the Dark XI
- There’s No Use Cryin’ “Forever” or Hyacinthe Returns from a Very Blue Holiday for Real B(l)ack at Ya
- Room in the Dark XII
- Lollie Struts Her Stuff Thru “The Sea of Love” or the Brides of Frankenstein Catch the Bouquet
- By Ntozake Shange
- Acknowledgments
- Copyright
“Victor-Jésus, how can I tell you? He looked mean like any other mean white man, but it passed really quickly. We went over to La Rondallo for some quesadillas and sangria. The Mariachis sang ‘Guadalajara’ for me. He pulled out his clarinet and we romped through the Mission for hours. When we’re alone, I think, this guy is great. He’s so free and gentle, most of the time, anyway.”
I am considering the various cleansing rituals to which Lili must submit before I can take her back from this latest conquistador, but the intrigue has not yet peaked. Lili thinks I’m quaint. A remnant of precultural diversity socialization, like her father, maybe.
“I decided to tell Daddy that Zoom, I mean, Joel, is just a very, very light, light black man.”
I laughed so hard I had to pee and get a cerveza. A light light black man. Not to upset Daddy’s life spectrum, to leave the family image intact, to make believe it doesn’t matter, to lie. Lili. Lili, to lie to a good white lay. Querida, you can do better than that, I say.
“You shouldn’t laugh at me, Victor-Jésus.”
“Tu queres que yo lioro para ti, you want me to weep, mija?”
“You almost had to. Victor-Jésus, it was so scary. He was so scary.”
What’s scary about clumsy white men is beyond me but I listen.
“I was lying on the water bed at my house. It was dark and light at once cause of the fog. We were just about inside clouds, close to heaven. I felt so cherishd. Zoom had licked me all over, I was shivering and warm, and moist.”
“Yes, Lili…”
“Well, I told Zoom that I’d sent my father some photos of us together, that I’d painted over his face and arms so they would look darker. I didn’t want any trouble with Daddy, you know. I thought he’d understand. We don’t have and have never had, since slavery, any white folks in the family…. Well. He changed. Victor, he stomped around my house like some interrogator from a grade B movie. He screamed at me. ‘Nobody has the right to be ashamed of me. You have no right to make me dark or light or less white. Who do you think you are, you bitch.’