Chapters (31)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Contents
- Room in the Dark I
- Fawns of the Diaspora Court Liliane in Paris, While Tabou Combo Whispers “Coq Qualité” in Her Ears
- Room in the Dark II
- “I Usedta Drink, Smoke and Do the Hoochie-Koo,” or What’s a Girl to Do When Her Mother Looks Like Ruth Brown
- Room in the Dark III
- “El Bochinche” es que only Fe Cortijo Knows or All the LeBron Brothers Know If Victor-Jésus María Sang Lili to Her Freedom
- Room in the Dark IV
- And Where Is Garnett Mimms?
- Room in the Dark V
- I Know Where Kansas City Is, But Did Wilbert Harrison Ever Get There?
- Room in the Dark VI
- Zoom Went the Strings of Liliane’s Heart, But Arsenio Rodriguez Could Have Told Her the Music Sounds Just as Sweet When We’re Blind and Still We See
- Room in the Dark VII
- I Know Where the E Train Stops But I’m “Sendin’ Out an S.O.S.” and I’m Not Edwin Starr Either
- Room in the Dark VIII
- “Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby” or Wouldn’t It Be Great If the Lead Singer of The Crests Wasn’t a White Boy and I Could Be My Mother?
- Room in the Dark IX
- Every Time My Lil World Seems Blue, I Just Haveta Look at You and Learn Eye-Hand Coordination
- Room in the Dark X
- “That’s Why I Love Her So and Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I Want to Know” or Why Jackie Wilson Died in Silence
- Room in the Dark XI
- There’s No Use Cryin’ “Forever” or Hyacinthe Returns from a Very Blue Holiday for Real B(l)ack at Ya
- Room in the Dark XII
- Lollie Struts Her Stuff Thru “The Sea of Love” or the Brides of Frankenstein Catch the Bouquet
- By Ntozake Shange
- Acknowledgments
- Copyright
——— Now, whenever a melody ends, I feel his fingers on my throat. Some of my hair in the back is caught in his fingers and he’s shakin’ me down from the Riviera as if nobody was around. People walked past, went across the street to the park. And nobody said anything. Did anything. The traffic kept comin’, cars to New Jersey and cabs with medallions kept movin’. I heard the downtown IRT and all. Outta nowhere but he was right there. Outta nowhere I heard him screamin’, “Who do you think you are?” and…I couldn’t breathe. So I couldn’t answer…I couldn’t answer…
———
——— It’s me, Lili…it’s just me….
———
———
——— This is very important.
——— Yeah. How’s that?
——— Well. You turn down ex-lovers in quiet.
——— Yeah, I’m not afraid in music.
——— Or language.
———
——— It’s these silences.
——— Where lovers become assassins without warning. It’s the noise. A horrible throbbin’ roar…and…
——— You can’t hear yourself.
———
——— Or protect yourself.
——— I can’t even say my name. I cannot breathe.
———
——— But why, why would he hurt me like that?
——— Maybe, he couldn’t stand to hear the music in you.
——— Music? Oh God. He even shouted when he talked about music he loved, like a delicacy in the tone of his voice would actually impugn the virility of a note…. I like to caress sounds and images I care for with my fingers, my tongue, my lips. He was always shouting, shouting til my ears hurt.
——— Noise, again. A noise that hurts, yes?
——— Why am I lowering my eyes, when you say that? “A noise that hurts.”
——— It’s the silence.
——— How can hurtin’ be associated with shame? Lowering my eyes cause somebody’s hurt me, then, I’m guilty of…feelin’? That’s crazy.
——— Maybe. Maybe not. Could be protecting yourself from the Gorgon or Medusa. So you don’t turn to stone and stop feeling.
———
——— You’re not helpin’ me when you don’t respond.
——— I’m gettin’ a knot in my throat. I’m frightened and my heart’s beatin’ up and out that window.
———
——— Don’t you hear me talkin’ to you, dammit?
——— Yes, I’m here. You are doing impressive work, Liliane.
———
——— We are starting to decipher the noise.
——— Oh, oh. My ears ache.
——— The noise.
——— Yes. Yes. He’s screamin’ and chucklin’. Please…I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to start cryin’, talk to me, please.
——— He’s always talking to you, even in the silence. Before I can really talk to you, we’ve got to hear what he is screaming at you. Then we can end this conversation with this man who can’t caress words or images he cares about like you do.
——— There’s a cave in my chest.
——— That’s where his voice can boom and steal the air from you, so you can’t breathe, Liliane.
——— Yes, I know.