Chapters (31)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Contents
- Room in the Dark I
- Fawns of the Diaspora Court Liliane in Paris, While Tabou Combo Whispers “Coq Qualité” in Her Ears
- Room in the Dark II
- “I Usedta Drink, Smoke and Do the Hoochie-Koo,” or What’s a Girl to Do When Her Mother Looks Like Ruth Brown
- Room in the Dark III
- “El Bochinche” es que only Fe Cortijo Knows or All the LeBron Brothers Know If Victor-Jésus María Sang Lili to Her Freedom
- Room in the Dark IV
- And Where Is Garnett Mimms?
- Room in the Dark V
- I Know Where Kansas City Is, But Did Wilbert Harrison Ever Get There?
- Room in the Dark VI
- Zoom Went the Strings of Liliane’s Heart, But Arsenio Rodriguez Could Have Told Her the Music Sounds Just as Sweet When We’re Blind and Still We See
- Room in the Dark VII
- I Know Where the E Train Stops But I’m “Sendin’ Out an S.O.S.” and I’m Not Edwin Starr Either
- Room in the Dark VIII
- “Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby” or Wouldn’t It Be Great If the Lead Singer of The Crests Wasn’t a White Boy and I Could Be My Mother?
- Room in the Dark IX
- Every Time My Lil World Seems Blue, I Just Haveta Look at You and Learn Eye-Hand Coordination
- Room in the Dark X
- “That’s Why I Love Her So and Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I Want to Know” or Why Jackie Wilson Died in Silence
- Room in the Dark XI
- There’s No Use Cryin’ “Forever” or Hyacinthe Returns from a Very Blue Holiday for Real B(l)ack at Ya
- Room in the Dark XII
- Lollie Struts Her Stuff Thru “The Sea of Love” or the Brides of Frankenstein Catch the Bouquet
- By Ntozake Shange
- Acknowledgments
- Copyright
I’m going to down a magnum of Perrier & Jouët in my black satin teddy and the lace panties with the open crotch. I’m gonna stay home and draw drawings of the drawings of him that I’ve got. I’m not going to come out of my house until there are some hip black people in outer space. I’m not going to play me some Ruth Brown records, eat hominy grits with brown oyster sauce and do all the things I been told make a woman feel like a woman should.
I’m going to the telephone that’s not a direct line to the coke man, so I can see if this guy who sorta likes me is busy. This is so crazy. I know I gotta do some reality work here. Call a man you know, Lili. Don’t go all the way on out there, darling. Call Alex, see if he wants to wear some of your clothes, while you walk round naked. All right. Don’t call Alex. Be a class A lunatic and sleep neath them metallic dreadlocks hanging over your bed. Nothing kinky there, huh? I am trying to let my tears fall in my snifter like Courvoisier got the best of me. I want to ask Nadia to take me to the ladies room again. For a quick toot or two. I want to stand. I liked what his beauty brought out of me. Eye-hand coordination and all. I’m thinking maybe the rush from the enigma he is is sufficient. That’ll get me through, you know. Right on cue, some side man plays The Isley Brothers, “Love the One You’re With.” I feel my survivor kick in and take a deep breath. She lets me run my tongue over my lips. Chastises me for gritting my teeth, helps me tilt my chin with insouciance. Now, we ready? she asks.
When I raise my eyes and feel all that defiance burning behind my lashes, I’m struck dumb.
He’s walking toward me.
He’s smiling at me.
His braids fall over his chest too. I’d never allowed for that.
I’d never imagined seeing him face to face.
I’d never meant to ask his name.
I’m losing my breath, he’s lifting off the ground.
He’s whispering my name, “Liliane, Lili, Lili.” I know I don’t know this man. I steal up on him in the late afternoon in a studio musicians’ hangout. Nobody, only Nadia knows me, here. I never said anything to him.
“Lili,” he takes my mouth in his and I lose any semblance of anatomical realities. How, how, how, could such a man know me already? I am staring, an imbecile, une idiote joyeuse. I’m managing to smile. I can’t help myself.