She had done well in her career for a long time, but then the worst happened. She never really wanted to talk about it with anyone. Truthfully, she wished that she could stop thinking about it and never have to speak about it, but it seemed to be a part of her now. Like an extra arm hanging off of her body, making her heavier and dragging her down.

She pulled her robe tightly around her and walked down onto the dark beach. It was so remote and deserted, and nighttime made it feel even more so. A blanket of stars hung above her in the sky, and she stared up at them wondering if there was life beyond the planet earth. Maybe if she was on some other planet or in some other dimension, she wouldn't be suffering so much now. If you traveled to a different planet, did your history go with you? Or did you truly get a fresh start? Now she was just delusional from lack of sleep.

There was a rock on the beach where she liked to sit, just to get closer to the water. It was so clear tonight that the moon was dancing off the waves as they slowly rolled into shore. There was just something about the ocean that she loved. It felt like each wave was a renewal, a new beginning. Oh, how she wished she could get a new beginning in her own life.

But she didn't deserve it. She had taken a life. She had always known as a police officer that it was a possibility that might happen, but the way it happened wasn't something that she expected. How would she ever get over what she had done?

So she'd run away from her old life in an effort to start a new one, even if it was running a lighthouse on a tiny island out in the middle of nowhere. But so far, she hadn’t outrun anything. No, her fears and regrets had come along for the ride like an uninvited guest.

Her grandmother used to say that houseguests and fish started to smell after three days. But she wanted to add something new to that list- regrets. They started to smell too.

Sometimes, just for a brief moment, she thought about walking out into the ocean until she couldn't walk anymore. Not that she wanted to hurt herself. Not really. But she wondered if the universe wanted that. She wondered if the fact that she had taken a life meant that she should give up her own. A person has a lot of dark thoughts when they live in dark places.

Chapter 4

Julie finished making the coffee and then straightened the bistro chairs in the café area. It was an early morning at the bookstore because tourist season was now in full swing, and she had to make sure they were ready. Dixie would be coming in soon, and they would go over that week’s planning and the upcoming spring festival that would be the highlight of the season in Seagrove.