On evenings like this, Ada loses herself in thought, wondering what it would have been like if the artist couple had taken her. But she doesn’t pursue it. She is stricken with qualms of conscience, because just thinking such thoughts would hurt her mother deeply. Her simple, dear mamma, who from her very meagre pension puts money aside for her children and grandchildren, takes care of neighbours poorer than herself and every day feeds the woman next door who is raising her granddaughter on her own.

The children are already fast asleep. The dog comes into Ada’s kitchen and lies down, resting his nose on his paws. Her husband is still not home. Ada’s left side is hurting again, and it occurs to her that perhaps the world would not be the worse if she would no longer be here. Would everything continue as before? She becomes frightened by such thoughts; her heart pounds fast and, to calm herself, she trickles some drops of valerian tincture into a glass of water. During the time that the Russians were here, mamma on the quiet had taken the children to the catholic region of Latgale to christen them in that faith. There people have great respect for the dead, but they don’tspend much time thinking about dying. But why does her left side hurt so?

Ada finally goes to bed, having in vain waited for her husband to come home. She dreams of a gigantic mountain of snow. With her brother and sister, she is tumbling down the mountain, then climbing back up and tumbling down again. In her dream she can even taste the little balls of snow matted in her mittens. Her brother, wearing father’s old pile cap with the ear flaps, is the first to reach the mountain top. He offers a helping hand to Ada. She tries to grasp his hand but no matter how she tries, can’t reach it. It’s so very close, so close. Her little brother pulls off his mitten and reaches once more with his bare hand, but he still can’t reach Ada. Why oh why can’t he reach her when she is right there, close by. Her brother stretches out his hand in vain

– Ada can’t reach it.

Ada sits bolt upright in bed. There is no one, nothing beside her. Her heart is pounding like crazy, and it feels as if all the left side of her body is aching. Ada has decided not to go see a doctor. She is strong, full of life force. The pain comes and goes. Especially after taking some Balsam it ceases. She does her daily chores. These help her not to think …