“I…” Jack struggled for an explanation. Something that wouldn’t make her mother scream. Something that wouldn’t make her mother rage. “We’re going to plant a garden,” she managed, hating how hard it was to push out the words. “It’ll end up saving money, because we won’t have to buy beans all summer, and we’ll have fresh vegetables, which will be good for the boys—” She might’ve gone on like that, rambling into eternity, if her mother hadn’t cut her off with a sharp sound. But it wasn’t a scream. It wasn’t even a snarl. Across the table, her tired-eyed, lank-haired mother had started to chuckle.

“Sit down, baby girl,” she said, pushing a chair out with her foot. “I want to tell you something.”

Jack sat.

Her mother leaned in, and the scent of nicotine and sweat wafted off her, making Jack’s stomach turn. “Listen to me, sweetness. I’d love to let you grow a garden out there, I really would. But nothing’s going to grow in that backyard. You know why?”

Jack shook her head.

“That yard is shit. This house is shit.” Her mother lashed out, catching Jack’s chin between her fingers. “And you—”

“Stop.” Fingernails dug into Jack’s skin, leaving little half-moon imprints, but she couldn’t break away.

“You are shit. Your daddy took one look at you and ran in the other direction. My daddy did the same. They left us in this shit hole, so don’t go telling yourself stories about turning that weed-infested wasteland into a garden.” She jerked back her hand so quickly, her nail sliced Jack’s cheek. “Now give me the seeds.”

“I… no. I bought them for the boys.”

“What’d you say to me?” Her mother lurched forward, the chair toppling behind her. Before Jack could even blink, the packet of seeds was out of her hand. Her mother tore it open. Tossed the seeds out the window like they were trash. Like everything here was trash: the house, the yard, and Jack herself, still sitting at the table frozen. Afraid to stand up. Afraid to fight back. Even when her mother strode over to her, brushing the hair from her face, she couldn’t jerk away. “I did that for your own good,” her mother said. “I love you too much to let you lie to yourself, okay? And I will not let you lie to my boys.”

Jack nodded, voiceless. The boys were calling to her from outside. What was she going to tell them? When her mother ambled off to her bedroom, Jack hurried out the side door to the house, seeking the window where the seeds had fallen. She tried desperately to pluck them out of the dirt. That was how Raven found her. Hunched over a handful of dirty beans, sobbing quietly so her brothers couldn’t hear.