He was right, but that was more than she had energy to deal with, so she gave him the half-truth. “I’ve posted a few of these for Clare,” she said. “I’m sure John has done the same. There’s been no response. Part of me is certain that once we get to the end of this, there’ll be no Dmitry, just her and another lecture on everything I did wrong, and John will get the credit for the successes, and whether we win or lose, I lose and he wins. Again.”

Holden nudged his shoulder into hers.

She looked over at him.

“You were dealt a shitty hand,” he said. “For your sake, I’m sorry. But selfishly, what you lived through made you who you are, and I happen to like who you are. I mean, I hate that you had to go through it, but there’s this version of you on the other side . . .”

She put a finger to his lips and shushed him.

She knew where this was headed, and it set off all the same fire alarms as before. She wasn’t ready to go there now or maybe ever. She said, “What were you up to at fourteen? Pickpocketing tourists in Bogotá?”

He chuckled. “That story needs more time than we’ve got tonight.”

“Oh, you’re gonna make me fight you for it?”

He slid off the bench. “You’d need a tree branch, pulley system, and a fire. Nothing less.”

She scooted out behind him, pulled a clean towel from the cupboard, waited till his back was turned, and mock lunged in his direction.

His reflexes were faster than she remembered.

He caught her wrist, spun her round, and locked an arm around her neck.

Instinct overrode playfulness.

She flipped him hard onto his back.

He took her down with him.

The whole trailer shook, and the floor groaned.

She froze, tight up against his side, half on top of him, half on the floor.

In stillness there was his breathing and hers, his heartbeat and hers, and the terrifying sense of losing control. She let go and pulled herself up, grabbed the towel and clean clothes, and strode for the bathroom.

He called after her.

She stopped. Didn’t turn.

He said, “Are you planning to play fair when we meet your brother?”

The question, out of the blue, threw her.

She could lie, but they both knew she wasn’t yet ready to forgive.