Taking another deep breath, he stepped up to the side of the bed and reached down to cup the uninjured side of her face. He could hear her heartbeat. The monitor showed her heart beating. Still, he needed to feel it. He wrapped his other hand around her throat and closed his eyes. His leopard settled. He settled. The wild, savage beast that was both leopard and man found strength to just breathe because her heart beat into his palm.

“Ya tebya lyublyu, Evangeline. I need you to open your eyes and look at me. Hear me. Do this for me.”

Her pulse jumped beneath his palm. He could feel it. Hear it. A little faster. Maybe a little stronger. She heard him, and he felt the fight in her as her lashes fluttered and she managed to lift them. Her eyes were glazed from the drug, but she recognized him. He saw the relief in her eyes. She was too drugged to try to hide her feelings and it was there for him. Plain as day. He didn’t deserve it, he never would deserve it, but he was taking it. That look that told him he was her man. Her choice. She’d made that choice when she’d leapt over the counter and tried to save his life.

“You fight your way through this, woman. You’re tough. You’re strong. Never in my life have I asked for anything. Never. Not once. But you, you’re a fucking miracle and so much a part of me, I don’t know how to survive without you. Not intact. Not with my soul, which is so far gone, shredded to pieces. You have to live. I can’t make a deal with God, but I can with the devil. He’ll recognize me.”

She shook her head and that small smile came. When it did, he saw the instant bite of pain from the movement reflected in her eyes.

“Just listen, Evangeline.” He bent closer, his lips moving against her ear. “Don’t try to make me into a good man, because I’m not. There isn’t much left in me at all. Until you. You’re the good. Don’t take that away from me. Not now. I could manage to get through life because I didn’t feel. Anything. Nothing. I existed, and I did what I had to do to survive, but I didn’t feel anything doing it. Until you. You’re the feeling. Don’t take it away from me. Don’t take you away.”