Stay alive for me. Want me enough to live. He needed to see her. Feel her heart beating. He wanted her to know he was there. That he needed her when he’d never needed anyone.

He scrubbed his hand down his face as if he could wipe away his sins with that small gesture. Anything to deserve her. Anything. Anything to save her. His cousin, Mitya, he loved. Mitya had been born into the cruelest lair of all and like Alonzo and Sevastyan, he had chosen his mother. When his father had killed her, Mitya had bided his time, thinking he’d take his father’s place as head of the lair and clean it up that way, but as time went on, he realized there was no taking back the legacy. Like Alonzo, he would have to kill every male and some female members of the lair. He had quietly disappeared and found Timur.

Mitya had known the life and what it entailed. Alonzo had brought that life to Evangeline when she’d gotten out.

“That isn’t going to help,” Elijah said softly.

Joshua came up behind him, matching his pace, pressing close. Alonzo realized the three leopards, Jake, Elijah and Joshua, were there not only because of Evangeline and Mitya, but to contain him if Evangeline didn’t make it. He wasn’t certain they could and that told him how far gone he was. That Evangeline was wrapped so tightly around his heart and woven so seamlessly into his soul that he wouldn’t recover, he wouldn’t even want to recover if he lost her.

He forced himself to stop the low growl and take a deep breath. Every joint ached. His skull felt too tight. His muscles hurt, and there wasn’t a place on his body that didn’t itch insanely. “She can’t die.” He made it a statement. “If she isn’t in surgery, I want to be with her.”

“They won’t allow it,” Elijah said. “You know that.”

He looked at Jake. “Make it happen.”

Jake didn’t bother to argue. “I have to know you’ve got it under control.”

“I do.”

Jake assessed him for a long while. “Give me a minute.” He strode away.

“We need to talk to your men, Alonzo,” Joshua said. “We need to figure out how this happened.”

Something in his voice brought Alonzo out of the haze of concentrating. Stay alive for me. Want me enough to live. He lifted his head alertly, swung around to face Joshua, although he still kept his eye on Jake, who was on his phone several feet away, his face carved in grim lines.