Bob choked. I returned Shona’s smile and took her hand. ‘Thank you so much,’ I responded breathily in my best Italian accent. ‘I have heard you are the best in Scotland and, as I cannot be home in Milano for my wedding, I am looking for a shop which can meet my expectations.’ I leaned in slightly. ‘They are very high. One only gets married once ‒ or perhaps twice.’ I paused and gave a self-deprecating laugh. ‘Maybe three times. It’s very important that the wedding is perfect.’

Shona didn’t even blink. ‘Of course! And you’re Italian, you say? Benvenuto al nostro meraviglioso negozio.’

Shite. I should have opted for Greek. I clapped my hands as if in wild applause. ‘You Scots are so charming!’ I replied in English, adding just the faintest patronising tone to keep her away from any more attempts at my ‘native’ language.

A consummate professional, Shona’s smile didn’t waver. ‘Is this your first visit here?’ she enquired.

Playing dumb was fun. I smiled prettily to mask my smirk. ‘To the Granite City? Why no.’

‘Uh, great.’ Shona’s expression didn’t flicker. ‘And is it your first visit to our little store?’

I looked around. Calling MacKay’s Marriage Emporium ‘little’ was hardly apt. The place might look rather nondescript from outside but I could see that inside it stretched back in a cavernous confection of lace, frills and wedding joy.

‘It is,’ I replied. ‘I’m just shopping around for now. The truth is that I don’t even have a date yet. My fiancé, Byr…’ I shook myself. Where the hell had that come from? ‘My fiancé,’ I repeated, ‘wants a spring wedding but I’m not sure I can wait that long.’ I added a simper. Considering I was already blushing, it looked very natural.

Shona raised an eyebrow. I couldn’t be sure whether my Freudian slip had caught her attention or not. ‘Oh, spring is simply the best time,’ she said. ‘Let me show you what we have on offer.’

I allowed Shona to lead me round, pausing every so often to gush over a particular piece of tulle or laced frippery. When we reached the display of wedding cakes and her head was turned the other way, Bob zipped out from underneath my headscarf. In one fell swoop he knocked both the miniature bride and groom off the top of the largest tiered monstrosity. Then he posed this way and that while I tried – with some difficulty – to keep a straight face. When he dropped onto his back and began to wave his arms and legs up and down to make an icing angel, I had to blink rapidly and swallow.

‘Your collections are beautiful,’ I said, taking Shona and leading her away from the cake before she noticed him. I spoke with a fair degree of honesty; there was a tad too much virginal white for my taste, and my eyes were beginning to swim from all the delicate lace, but there was no denying that MacKay’s took great care over its offerings. I bit my lip. ‘I wonder, though, whether you can produce what I require. I anticipate my wedding will be very large scale.’ I smiled innocently and pretended not to notice the flash of avarice in Shona’s expression.