Bob pouted. ‘Yeah, yeah.’ He looked over his shoulder at me. ‘I should tell you that Tipsy is throwing a tantrum up on the deck. Fergus, May and Candy are trying to calm her down but they’re not having much luck.’

I pressed the base of my palms against my temples. ‘Okay,’ I said, ‘okay.’

***

Bob hadn’t been kidding about the tantrum part. Tipsania was marching up and down the slick boards, picking up everything that wasn’t nailed down and throwing it away. ‘I will wring his neck. I will pull out his fingernails one by one.’ She grabbed a lifebelt and hurled it into the grey, churning sea. Mm. We might need those.

Candy stood to one side. ‘It’s better to let her run out of steam,’ he advised.

‘Steam?’ Tipsania shrieked. ‘I’ll show you steam. I will ram a steaming hot poker right up his arse. Then you’ll see steam.’

May shuffled up, Fergus following with a large golf umbrella in a bid to shield from the sun. ‘Ip. Ee!’ she squeaked.

‘Not now, May!’

Byron said, ‘That’s a Fomori demon.’

Ah. ‘Yes. Yes, it is. She’s nice, though. Honest.’

‘If it takes until the end of time, Integrity,’ he reminded me.

‘I wasn’t keeping her a secret! She just never came up!’

He obviously didn’t believe me. I gave up and focused on Tipsania instead. ‘What’s wrong?’

She stopped what she was doing and stared at me. ‘What’s wrong?’ she shrieked. ‘What’s bloody wrong? You imbecile! You poor excuse for a Sidhe! You white-haired cretin!’

‘I tried to warn you,’ Candy rumbled.

‘Tipsania,’ I said, trying again. ‘I know this has been tough on you. I’m really sorry about your dad. It’s important to grieve but I’m not sure this is the best way to go about it.’

She put her hands on her hips and marched up to me. ‘My dad was a wanker,’ she said icily. ‘I’m not happy he’s dead and I’m certainly not happy about how it happened but that’s not why I’m angry.’

Angry didn’t begin to cover it. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d turned green and ripped her way out of her sodden wedding dress.

‘Aifric,’ she said, spitting the name out with disgust. ‘He’s not dead.’

‘No.’

‘I want to kill him. Slowly.’

Bob began to applaud. ‘Yes! You go, girl!’

Before I could say anything, Tipsania moved up until she was inches from my face. ‘Do you know what he said to me? He said that if I didn’t marry Byron, he would drag me to the altar himself and marry me. He would marry me! The nerve of the man!’ I opened my mouth but she still wasn’t finished. ‘As if I would tie myself to someone like him! And look!’ She grabbed my head and forced it down. ‘Look at what I’m wearing! It’s a monstrosity. Bows!’ she spat. ‘Nobody wears bows! I look like Cinderella. I’m not some servant playing dress up!’

Candy held up his hand like a wary school kid. ‘I think you look pretty.’