‘Hey,’ I yelled.

There was a grunt then he lifted up the front of the hood slightly to stare in my face. Unfortunately he got far too close and I caught a whiff of unpleasant halitosis but it was worth it to see the light outside. If Aifric was going to de-hood me, I didn’t want to waste thirty seconds adjusting my sight while he chopped off my head.

‘I bet your dentist always looks down in the mouth when you show up,’ I quipped. The guard stared at me. ‘You should lay off the tuna fish TicTacs,’ I suggested.

His fat fingers bunched into a fist and I was sure he was going to punch me on my nose until another face appeared behind him. ‘Not the face,’ the second guard cautioned. ‘The Steward don’t want anyone feelin’ sorry for her.’

The guard nodded and drove his hand into my stomach instead. He yanked the hood back over my face and dragged me out while I was still winded and gasping for air.

I counted steps for no other reason than it gave me something to do and kept my mind off the pain in my stomach. We didn’t go far. At sixty-nine, where I’d have made another joke except it would have been lost on these two numbskulls, we stopped. I could hear Aifric’s dulcet tones, although they were slightly muffled as if far away – or on the other side of a door.

‘We live in dangerous times. While that doesn’t mean we should stop living or be afraid of celebrating the simple, sincere love of two young people like dear Tipsy and my son, it does mean that there are actions which must be undertaken to keep us all safe. The Highlands of Scotland may be small in size but they are not small in stature. We need to do whatever is necessary to minimise the risk to our homes!’

There was a rumbling cheer which started small and got louder and louder. Aifric apparently had his audience in the palm of his hand. I tsked so loudly that I received a sharp kick in the shins.

‘To that end,’ he continued, ‘it falls on me to perform some unpleasant but very necessary duties. I would hate to be accused of being underhand so these duties will take place in full view of all you good people. It pains me to do this but I have no choice. There is a Sidhe who stands accused of the most heinous crimes. I cannot pass judgment so I will leave it to you to hear the evidence and make the final verdict. Only that way will this be fair.’

I snorted. Fair? If he was being fair, I’d be in a proper court of law with a real defence. I had to admit that Aifric Moncrieffe certainly knew how to talk the talk. He was also leaving nothing to chance. No matter who was supposedly passing judgment on me for my ‘crimes’, whatever they were, I would be proclaimed guilty. But Aifric didn’t hold all the cards.