He rocked impatiently back and forth, from side to side, grimacing and hissing, trying to get the blood to flow in his aching legs, the cramps to be still. But standing in one place for this length of time is, to put it simply, torture.

'How long can a wedding take?'

Ardee raised one dark eyebrow. 'Perhaps they couldn't keep their hands off each other, and are busy consummating the marriage right there on the floor of the Lords' Round.'

'How bloody long can a consummation take?'

'Lean on me if you need to,' she said, holding out her elbow to him.

'The cripple using the drunk for support?' Glokta frowned. 'We make quite the couple.'

'Fall over if you prefer, and knock out the rest of your teeth. I'll lose no sleep over it.'

Perhaps I should take her up on the offer, if only for a moment. After all, where's the harm? But then the first shrill cheers began to float up, soon joined by more and more until a jubilant roar was making the air throb. The doors of the Lords' Round were finally being heaved open, and the High King and Queen of the Union emerged into the bright sunlight, hand in hand.

Even Glokta was forced to admit that they made a dazzling pair. Like monarchs of myth they stood arrayed in brilliant white, trimmed with twinkling embroidery, matching golden suns across the back of her long gown and his long coat, glittering as they turned to the crowds. Each tall, and slender, and graceful, each crowned with shining gold and a single flashing diamond. Both so very young, and so very beautiful, and with all their happy, rich, and powerful lives ahead of them. Hurrah! Hurrah for them! My shrivelled turd of a heart bursts open with joy!

Glokta rested his hand on Ardee's elbow, and he leaned towards her, and he smiled his most twisted, toothless, grotesque grin. 'Is it really true that our King is more handsome than I?'

'Offensive nonsense!' She thrust out her chest and tossed her head, giving Glokta a withering sneer down her nose. 'And I sparkle more brightly than the Jewel of Talins!'

'Oh, you do, my dear, you absolutely do. We make them look like beggars!'

'Like scum.'

'Like cripples.'

They chuckled together as the royal pair swept majestically across the square, accompanied by a score of watchful Knights of the Body. The Closed Council followed behind at a respectful distance, eleven stately old men with Bayaz among them in his arcane vestments, smiling almost as wide as the glorious couple themselves.

'I didn't even like him,' muttered Ardee under her breath, 'to begin with. Not really.' That certainly makes two of us.

'No need to weep. You're far too sharp to have been satisfied with a dullard like him.'

She breathed in sharply. 'I'm sure you're right. But I was so bored, and lonely, and tired.' And drunk, no doubt. She shrugged her shoulders hopelessly. 'He made me feel like I was something more than a burden. He made me feel… wanted.'