AS I WALKED BACK ALONG the corridor towards the gilded public chambers, I heard a strange sound. A creaking, clanking noise from behind the wall, and what sounded like the rattle of chains. I looked around, and saw a door in the corridor I had not noticed previously. Unlike the others it did not have a magnificently decorated surround but was set flush to the wall, with the same linenfold panelling as the walls on either side. There was a small keyhole, but no handle. Overcome with curiosity, I pushed at it gently and to my surprise it opened easily on oiled hinges.

Within was a wide, square platform, lit with torches bracketed to the walls. The platform surrounded a staircase leading down to the ground floor. To my astonishment, in one corner of the platform, four men in the dark uniform of the King’s Gentlemen Pensioners were straining to turn the handles of a large winch, hauling something up the stairwell from the ground floor. I heard a wheezy shout from beneath, ‘Careful, you dolts, keep me steady!’ Then, as the men pulled harder on the ropes, an immense figure rose into view, seated on a heavy wheeled chair, secured by a leather belt round his immense waist. I glimpsed a near-bald head, an immense, red, round face, folds of thin-bearded flesh wobbling above the collar of a caftan. The King’s huge cheeks twitched in pain.

Another guard saw me and rushed over; a big, bearded fellow. He clapped a hand over my mouth and pushed me through the door, back into the corridor. He shut the door quietly, then grabbed the lapels of my robe. ‘Who are you?’ he spat with quiet fierceness. ‘How did you get in there?’

‘I – I heard strange noises behind the door. I pushed it and it opened easily – ’

‘God’s death, it should always be locked from inside – I’ll have Hardy’s balls for this.’ His expression suddenly changed, from anger to contempt. ‘Who are you, crookback?’ He glanced at my robe. ‘I see you wear the Queen’s badge.’

‘I am new appointed to her majesty’s Learned Council.’