The only consolation was that every criminal they took off the streets was one less lawbreaker to disrupt society . . . or point a lethal weapon at an innocent person . . . or sell drugs to underage kids.

But that didn’t explain why Zeke had moved from police detective to undercover DEA agent—an even higher-stress job.

“If you were burned out, why did you take the DEA job?”

“To fight the war at the source. Work to disrupt the cartel pipeline and keep the drugs from ever getting to our cities.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “You remember how I got assigned to the DEA task force while we were dating?”

“Yes.” An appointment she’d considered an honor for him at the time but lived to regret after the agency took him away from her.

“I was shocked by their offer of an undercover job. I would never have sought out that type of work. But they made a compelling case for why I could be effective, how my coloring and language skills would give me a leg up on infiltrating the Mexican cartels. I began to wonder if God was nudging me to fight drugs on the front lines. To give that my top priority. I prayed about that job harder than I’d ever prayed about anything in my life, other than my brother.”

“Why didn’t you tell me what you were going through?”

His eyes grew bleak. “I was ashamed to admit why I was interested in the job. I didn’t want you to know I’d failed my family. If I hadn’t led my brother into the drug scene, he’d be alive today. So would my mom.”

“You don’t know that. You said yourself you lived in a tough environment. He could have gone down that path anyway and—” Cate frowned.

Why on earth was she defending the man who’d left her in the lurch after taking everything she had to give?

“No.” Zeke shook his head, and his broad shoulders sagged. “I know in my gut that if I’d been a better mentor—and brother—he would have made it through the fire, like I did.” He released a ragged sigh. “I wanted there to be an us more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life, but deep inside I never believed I deserved you . . . or any chance at happiness after how I corrupted my brother.”

“Then why did you date me? Let me think you had serious intentions? I would never have—” Her voice choked, and she mashed her lips together. Fought for control.

Hold it together, Cate. Don’t let him see how much you still—

“Cate.” He took her hand, and her lungs deflated.

She tried to pull away, but he held tight until she looked at him.