Whether he was playing for the Harriers or traveling as part of New Zealand’s national team, her love was a constant glow that kept him company. He’d found his joy in the game again, but it hadn’t just been the stint in Japan that had done it—it had been looking to Catie, and to Jake, and seeing that they both had passions outside of sport, something that gave their lives balance.

His decision to openly embrace his love of cooking had begun with a monthlong pastry course run by a local café, turned into him running a baking workshop at Catie’s camp, and these days his teammates often chowed down on his experimental efforts.

The experience had also taught him the importance of living his truth. As part of that, and with Catie with him every step of the way, he’d penned an article for the largest sporting website in the country, describing his drug assault, his resulting feelings of helplessness and violation, and the importance of dealing with those emotions so they didn’t become a shackle around his psyche.

In my case, he’d written, the police managed to track down the perpetrator and bring them to justice. That’s a fantastic outcome—but it took time. If I’d sat around stewing in my anger all that time, I wouldn’t be the Danny Esera you know today; the anger would’ve burned away at me like acid, breaking me down until it consumed me.

Finding a way—a healthy way—to handle things put me in the driver’s seat. Me, not the a**hole who decided to dose me. So yeah, I’m never going to apologize for talking it out with a therapist, and you shouldn’t either.

If anyone ever gives you grief about taking care of your mind and your heart, remind them there’s a reason for the sports psychologists attached to major teams: the people behind the teams understand that a high-performing athlete is a whole—body and mind and heart in equal measure.

The response to the article had been a groundswell of support. But more importantly, it had opened the door for others—especially young people who looked up to him—to feel okay discussing their own similar experiences. If Daniel Esera, one of the Top 3 Rugby Wingers in the World and Sexiest Player of the Year, could do it, so could they.

Turned out Danny didn’t mind his high public profile when it could do so much damn good. And from living his truth had come another passion—to work with youth sporting organizations throughout the country to put counseling services in place, or to upgrade and modernize those services to better suit the needs of the current generation.