APPA: What’s you problem, Alex?

ALEX: What? You told me to give her a popo.

APPA: Do I tell you popo two times?

ALEX: She popo me.

APPA: I know she popo you, I see she is popo you, I was here, I was supervise. But then you try popo her one more time after she popo you. Two popo, too many popo.

ALEX: Sorry.

APPA lets him go.

APPA: Okay. Now, step two. Do step two.

Beat.

ALEX: You’re gonna have to give me some clarification on what step two is, Mr. Kim.

APPA: 아이씨 참! [Good grief!] Step two is, ask Janet marry you.

ALEX &

JANET: What?

APPA: Ask Janet marry you.

ALEX: Mr. Kim — (APPA twists ALEX’s hand, forcing ALEX to his knees, writhing in pain.) Ah!

JANET: Appa, just stop — (JANET tries to pull APPA’s hand off ALEX. APPA then twists JANET’s hand, forcing her to her knees, writhing in pain.) Ah!

APPA has both of them on either side of him, on their knees, writhing in pain.

APPA: Alex, do step two.

ALEX: Mr. Kim —

JANET: Appa —

APPA: Alex, do step two.

ALEX: Ah! Janet, will you marry me?

JANET: Ah! Appa, this is ridiculous!

APPA: Ask again!

ALEX: Janet, will you marry me?

APPA: Janet, say yes.

JANET: Stop! Ow!

APPA: Ask again!

ALEX: (simultaneously) Ah! Janet will you marry me!? Ahhhhh!

JANET: (simultaneously) Ah! Appa, you’re ruining everything!

APPA: (simultaneously) Janet, say yes! This is last chance for you — AH! (ALEX does a reversal and has APPA in a hold.)

ALEX: I’m sorry, Mr. Kim. I’m sorry. I just need to talk — I came here to talk to your daughter.

APPA: Okay, hurry up, talk.

ALEX: Uh, okay. Um. Janet, I’ve always thought of you as a younger sister, following us around like a chubby little puppy dog. Wait, but when I saw you today, like, now — you’re so beautiful. You’re smart, talented, you make me laugh — I don’t understand why you’re still single. The only way I can figure it is God must love me so much that he’s kept you single for all these years to bless me with you.

JANET: I’ve had a crush on you since I was ten years old, Alex. Still do.

ALEX: Seriously?

JANET: Seriously.

ALEX: I’m off tomorrow, you wanna do something?

JANET: I got a wedding to shoot.

ALEX: Need a helper?

JANET: You wanna be my assistant?

ALEX: I do.

JANET: Pick me up at seven a.m.?

ALEX: I’ll be here.

ALEX and JANET go in for a kiss, inadvertently putting pressure on APPA’s hand.

APPA: AH!

JANET: What about him?

ALEX: Come here. Apply pressure right here.

They transfer holding APPA.

APPA: AH!

ALEX: Bye, Janet.

JANET: Bye.

ALEX: Please don’t hold this against me, Mr. Kim. I just needed to talk to your daughter.

APPA: Okay, see you.

ALEX exits. Bell.

APPA: Okay, Janet, enough is enough, let go.

JANET: Thank you.