“Within the next two weeks, I want you to memorize all the offensive and defensive signals for both teams. Also both teams’ play books. Go through the files. Become familiar with the behavioral patterns of the twenty six starters. Review the tapes of every game both teams have been involved in this season. You’ll only have enough time to skim the highlights, but do so in enough depth to acquaint yourself with obvious nuances, particularly those of Matision and T.K. Mann.” Spencer places both feet on the floor, folds his hands in front of him, and brings his clasped forefingers up to touch his chin. “We’re promising our viewers that XXI is going to be something extra. It’s important to our credibility that we deliver. Is that understood?”

“Perfectly.” Ida squirms in her chair. There is one issue Spencer has glossed over. She debates whether or not to bring it up. Spencer does not take kindly to an underling’s discovery of a flaw in his logic. She finally decides its long-term implications far overshadow the possibility of a near-term flurry of verbal abuse. “Mr. Spencer, a question?”

He nods.

“About T.K. Mann. Senator Barin was not successful in dealing with him.”

“Unfortunately true.” Spencer appears to be not at all threatened by it, a good sign.

“Mann is determined to go to the authorities after the Killerbowl.”

Yes.”

He’s so calm, so unruffled, Ida knows full well he has solved the problem, and her anxiety dissolves. “May I ask how you plan to prevent it?”

Spencer grins, actually grins. In all the years she’s worked for him, Ida can count on one hand the number of times she’s seen Pierce Spencer grin. “Quite simple, Ida. Mann won’t go to the authorities because, at an appropriate point during XXI, after we’ve adequately developed the proper degree of suspense, Harv Matision will kill him.”

Friday, December 17, 2010

“We have a special feature tonight,” reveals Timothy Enge, “in the Pro Prognosticator portion of our show. By linking the IBC sports data bank together with the talents of our studio vivifyzationists, we’ve put together a projected thirty minute simulation of Killerbowl XXI.” He holds up a flimsy blue sheet of paper of the type his viewers have come to associate with the arrival of a late breaking flash. “It was only finished moments before air time, I haven’t even seen it myself. Let’s take a look at it together and see who the statistics say is going to win the forthcoming big one.”