After a bit of market research, she drafted a business-expansion plan and target-income statements. It all came together easily. She could see growing Emerald to offer more financial services, like classes for sole proprietors on basic bookkeeping and budgeting, plus debt-reduction strategies. And classes for new business owners, both for Aim High as well as for her own prospective clients. She could even do more personal finance work, like offering workshops for new couples on how to deal with the money bits of a relationship. And add seminars on nonprofit governance. This was an exciting idea. In fact, she wished she had taken more control of Emerald’s future before now.

After finishing the business plan, she knew she still wouldn’t be able to sleep, so she put on the next Bollywood movie in her queue and snuggled Darcy on the couch. The movie was Dear Zindagi, and she had originally put it in her queue because Alia Bhatt was so luminous in it. But watching it now was eye-opening. The story was about an impulsive but driven young filmmaker who sees a psychologist to help her come to terms with how her abusive upbringing was affecting her life and her choices. Add a stunning beach in Goa, and Shah Rukh Khan with a beard, and it was no wonder it resonated with Kamila tonight. Clearly Asha was right that her subconscious was being a bit nefarious in its movie choices.

The movie made Kamila think about her own past. Her mother had been emotionally abusive and overly critical and called her a lazy, irresponsible harlot. And, while Mom was alive, Kamila’s rebellion was to be exactly what her mother expected—there was no point in being anything else. But everything changed when Mom died and Dad’s depression got so bad. Kamila did a one-eighty.

Her mother had called her irresponsible and lazy, so she reenrolled in college to follow in her father’s footsteps in accounting. And she volunteered for everything under the sun.

Her mother had called her selfish and self-centered, so she threw lavish parties for her friends and made photoshopped portraits of their pets to make them happy. And she constantly tried to matchmake for them, wanting them to have their happily ever afters because of Kamila. She wanted everyone to be grateful they had Kamila in their lives.

Even the way she dressed was because of Mom’s disapproval. Her mother had said she dressed like trash, so Kamila became interested in fashion, so she could be the most fabulous in any room.

She even decided to stop swearing one day, and she hadn’t since—save for telling Rohan to eff off a few days ago.

And wow, what did that mean? The first person she’d used profanity in anger on in at least six years was someone she was in love with? She should analyze that—another time, though.