“That does it,” I snap. “Hall!”

“Yes?” He springs so close that we knock elbows, his head cocked in that intent, absorbed way he has, as though every word from my mouth is spun from gold. He’s about two inches taller than me, but in my modest platform shoes, we’re eye to eye. I should ask for more height, so that I may look down on everyone both figuratively and physically.

“Make Felix flat.”

I tack on the magic words, he makes Felix flat, and my family shrieks with terror again. It is very worth it.

“Take three!” I call, stomping away from the scene. “Or four, I don’t know which we’re on. I am too busy to care about consistency issues!”

*

“And here is my fiancé,” I announce as I alight from the onion carriage from Shrek, which is pulled by unicorns, proffering my hand so that they all might weep over the glorious diamond (thirty-three carats) weighing down my ring finger. “My loyal, devoted fiancé, which is even better than a serious boyfriend.”

“That ring looks like the one Richard Burton gave to Liz Taylor,” Grandma observes, correctly.

“Fascinating,” Mom is remarking, bending her face close to a unicorn’s head. “You can’t even see the strap that keeps the horn on.”

“That’s because it’s a real unicorn,” I tell her, at which she laughs.

My siblings stare at the carriage with bulging eyes. They have no words. It is awesome.

“This is good footage,” I murmur out of the corner of my mouth to Hall. “We’ll use this one.”

*

Chapter Six

IT’S ALL EYES on me at dinner, and I am living.

“So as you can see, I am more independently wealthy than ever,” I gloat. “I independently found Hall and got engaged to him, so now his vast fortune is all mine.” I slap a generous scoop of sweet potatoes onto my plate next to an entire turkey leg. “On top of my own fortune, of course, as a beloved influencer.”

“What kind of fortune are we talking about?” Grandma inquires, sharp black eyes pinning my new fiancé.

The word fortune is Kaia’s reminder to whip out her tarot cards. She doles out readings at every gathering, mostly for Mom and Grandma. Her cards are illustrated with skeletons that have flowers in their eye sockets and they creep me out.

Hall’s forehead is sparkly with sweat. Inordinately sparkly, in fact, and unlike everyone else who perspires, his perspiration has a sweet smell to it. I peer closer. Holy cow. This man sweats sugar.

“Investments,” he supplies, swallowing thickly.

“Hall’s a movie producer,” I inform everyone. “He invests in movies. Just finished wrapping up the most incredible project—tell them all about it, honey.”

Hall stammers out an “Uhh,” before I slide back in.

“It’s a Jane Eyre retelling! Very modern. And I have the starring role as Jane.”

“You’re in a movie?” Athena is troubled. “How much did you get paid? Who’s the director?”

“You’re acting now?” Mom interrupts, right as Grandma tsks and mutters, “Vanity projects.”