Cover

Chapter One

Fall 2002 - Junior Year

I glanced around the crowded apartment nervously. Over the summer I'd lost forty of the last seventy-five extra pounds I’d been carrying around with me for most of my adolescent life. I had yet to show anyone, save for my grandmother, whom I’d spent the summer with.

Before leaving the dorm, I'd made sure my new dark wash boot-cut jeans hugged my curves tightly and that the black corset did its job in making my boobs, smaller than average, look hot. But halfway to the party my palms started to sweat. I still wasn’t used to having this tiny body. And I wasn’t ready for the amount of questions I was going to receive, especially from my skinny acquaintances who were going to want to know my secret, even though they didn’t need to know. And it wasn’t a secret at all.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I shouldn’t be showing off just yet. They’d all see me when I returned to classes in a few days and I wasn’t really ready to face Kent and Jen. Jen especially. She was going to rub it in my face that she was still with him and I wasn’t.

I was about to turn around when a car passed by and honked at me. I braced myself for the usual insult to follow but instead the college guy yelled, “Hey baby!” It was the confidence boost I needed to keep going.

Three steps into the party and I was assaulted with greetings and compliments. I smiled politely and accepted them, but I was distracted, searching for a certain someone.

I scanned the room, looking for my best friend, wondering how Kent would react now that his long-time BFF was not fat or just average but finally super-hot. He probably wouldn't even notice but I was eager to find out just the same.

I couldn’t help the smile that broke out on my face at the sight of him, moving back and forth on his feet, chatting amongst a group of guys. It looked like all the working out he'd been doing was treating him rather well, the blue and white plaid button down he was wearing stretched across his wide chest and larger than average biceps.

It also appeared he'd had surgery or perhaps he was wearing contacts because those thick glasses that I’d loved so much weren't perched on his nose. I wouldn’t have recognized him if it hadn’t been for his uncomfortable expression as he stood amongst the sea of people. I knew that I'd get over his way eventually and didn't rush it. I didn’t want to seem over-eager to see him. I had to play it cool. That’s what hot girls did, wasn’t it?

I kept glancing in his direction though, to make sure I didn't lose him, and to see what his face was going to give away the moment he caught sight of my new and improved body.

Kent wasn't looking around much, but one of the guys he was talking to actually pointed at me. Kent followed the guy's finger towards me. He stared at me for a long moment as if trying to solve the puzzle that was the smokin’ hot me. He blinked a few times and I swear I saw his lips mutter "holy shit" before his lips broke into a warm smile. The guy who had pointed me out elbowed Kent and nodded with his head in my direction. Kent nodded, went to push up the glasses that weren't on his face and ran his hand through his hair instead.

Smooth.

I grinned before looking back to my freshman roommate who was chatting with me about her summer spent in Venice. I was a little jealous hearing about how gorgeous it was but also a little distracted. I was replaying Kent's reaction in my head over and over. Maybe junior year would be my year. Maybe I would finally have the guts to tell him how I felt, how I'd been feeling since middle school. And maybe, just maybe he’d finally see me as a girl, and not just as a pal.

Ever since Jen’s arrival to our little high school four years ago Kent and I had started to drift apart. She’s set her sights on him and he’d gone along with it. Not that I could blame him for wanting the tall, blonde, skinny cheerleader type. She was nice too, to everyone except me, that is.

As Kent broke away from his group of guys Jen intercepted him, intertwining her fingers with his. He gazed lovingly at Jen and offered her a smile. Kent must have been talking about me because he pointed at me near the end of whatever it was he was saying. I quickly looked away and pretended I wasn't watching them. Suddenly I felt extremely self-conscious and the urge to run like a serial killer was on my tail grew stronger.

I forced those feelings away and turned and smiled at them both after saying parting words to my friend. My eyes found, first Kent, my smile not nearly as warm as before, and then Jen.

"Hey guys!", "I barely recognized him without his glasses." I pointed at Kent, but spoke to Jen. I didn't feel comfortable giving Kent a direct compliment, so I had to refer to him in third person, to his girlfriend, right in front of him. Jen had a way of making me feel as if I threatened her relationship that she was going to utterly destroy my entire existence. It was pretty scary in high school, especially with me being the fat girl and her being the rich, popular new girl.

Jen grinned as she moved over and gave me a big hug. "I know. I told him he shouldn't have because the glasses added character."

Kent shook his head. "You didn't have to wear the glasses, Jen." He sounded slightly annoyed, but it soon faded as he looked at me. "You look good, Elly."

I nodded as I looked at him. I looked good. Good? Was that good or bad? Average? Did he notice my boobs in this top?

Kent didn't get to say any more because Jen followed right after him. "Yeah, Elly. You look amazing. Did you lose like a hundred pounds or something? I can actually see your collarbones." Jen was trying to be nice in her way, which wasn't very. She reached out and traced the bones that were once hidden by fat.

I shrugged off the sting of her words after briefly looking over Kent's hardened form. God how I itched to reach out and touch him. His biceps looked much bigger than they had last Thanksgiving when I’d seen him. But I knew that would be an unwelcome touch and completely inappropriate given that his girlfriend was standing right next to him.

I swallowed back my lusty feelings and forced my smile a little brighter as I clenched my fists and crossed them over my chest, tucking them into my elbows to try to hide the possible give-away that I wanted to punch Jen in her pretty face. "Yeah… So, are you guys on-campus or off-campus this year? I'm on-campus in the Goodman dorm. A single. I was so stoked when I got my letter this summer."

Kent shook his head and smiled just enough to erase the frown off his face. “I’m on-campus in a triple and Jen is off-campus.”

Jen was smiling, probably reveling in the fact that her parents could afford to house her off-campus while the rest of us had to man up and live like poor college students we were.

I smiled, trying to make it as genuine as possible. "That's great! Which apartment building?" I could see that Kent was about to speak but Jen butted in."

I’m just off Polk Street like a hundred feet from campus."

"That's so great! I'd love to come by and see it sometime. If I'm invited, of course." I inwardly cursed myself as I glanced between them. I hadn't wanted to look at him! But it was done now, and I wasn't sure if I was relieved to see that he didn't look very happy or not. It was probably just because Jen was taking over the conversation.

Jen smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I know Kent is officially in the dorms this year but I’m sure he’ll be over all the time. He has his own dresser and everything. And we stay pretty busy, but I'm sure we can find time to have you over."

"Well...that would be great." Another friend of mine grabbed my elbow and smiled, letting me know she wanted to chat. I looked at Kent and Jen and smiled, pointing over my shoulder. "I should go. It was great seeing you guys though. Call me, Jen, and let me know when I can get the tour." I smiled and then waved at them.

I didn't give them a chance for much of a goodbye before my friend was looking over me and screaming, "Oh my god! You look great! I hardly recognized you! What's your secret?!"

Chapter Two

The following morning I was at the gym, I spotted a guy coming towards the treadmills. He was tall, had blonde shaggy hair, and light colored eyes. He moved up the two stairs to the platform that all the cardio equipment sat on. I saw the top of his shoe drag on the step and take him down out of the corner of my eye. He slid on his elbows right behind my machine. I gasped and turned it off. I turned around as he was pushing off the ground, noting his sleek back muscles just before he stood up and smiled. He held up his elbow to examine the rubber burn.

His eyes were hazel, and he smiled when they found mine. “Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my elbow falling for you.”

I couldn’t help it, I bust out laughing. “Does that really work?”

He grinned and shrugged his broad shoulders, which glistened with sweat under his gray tank top. “We’ll see in a few minutes. I’d like to get to know you.” He waggled his eyebrows, and I scoffed, grinning.

“Wow. I think you need to work on your lines a little more.” I turned around and started my treadmill again.

“Kyle.” He stepped up onto the treadmill next to mine and started running.

“What?” I turned my head to look at him with raised eyebrows.

“My name… it’s Kyle.” He leaned his head over towards me and spoke softly, “This is the part where you tell me your name.”

“Elly.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. I had no idea why I had told him my name, my real name, anyway. “Is this the part where you tell me how you lost your phone number and ask if you can have mine?”

“Oooh, that’s a good one. But no, I was going ask you if you sat in a pile of sugar… because you have a pretty sweet ass.”

I gasped, mouth open wide, grinning.

He winked. “I have lots of cheesy lines, it’s not how I usually do things. I just thought you might appreciate them.”

I smiled, I couldn’t help it. The guy was gorgeous, funny, a little goofy, and he was talking to me.

“God, your smile is beautiful.” He looked at his treadmill. “I need to stop staring or I’m going to crash or some shit.”

I actually had a whole brain full of cheesy pickup lines thanks to the silly role-playing I used to do with Kent when we were younger, where we’d practice hitting on each other. It was never a successful venture. We always ended up laughing. “You know, I was feeling a little off today but you turned me on,” I said.

He chuckled and retorted, “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.”

“You know… you look so familiar; didn’t we have class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.” I grinned and wondered if this was going to be our thing twenty years from now.

He smiled back and without flinching he stared into my eyes, “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line…” He cleared his throat and looked back to his screen. “Say you’ll have dinner with me.”

“Oooh, it’s just too much pressure.” I shook my head no.

“Come on, say you will. Don’t make me run at super-fast speed just to impress you.”

I raised my eyebrows, intrigued. “Well, now I think you definitely have to.”

He groaned. “Okay, if I must.” His machine beeped as he hit the up arrow several times. The machine whirred to life, the high-pitched sound interrupted by his footfalls as he ran faster and faster. I watched and covered my mouth with my hand, genuinely impressed that he was hanging in there.

The sweat started to bead on his forehead and his breath was rapidly increasing. I wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to hold out so I pulled his emergency stop, "Okay! I'll have dinner with you." I grinned as he pulled up his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face, revealing his defined abs. I was drooling and barely shut my mouth before he pulled his shirt back down. We exchanged numbers and made plans for the next evening.

He convinced me to go over to his place for pizza and a movie. Private time alone with Mr. Kyle McAbs was not against my overall plan to get a boyfriend so that I could stop thinking about my unavailable best friend, so I agreed.

He was in the dorm across campus and he also had a single. I walked down the hallway past freshmen guys who were still getting used to being the small fish in the big pond again and grinned as they hooted and made comments. I was still very much enjoying the attention, so I smiled to myself but didn’t otherwise acknowledge them.

I knocked on Kyle’s door and heard a little shuffling. The doorknob turned, and the door swung open revealing a tidy room with lowered lighting. His eyes raked over my body before he stepped aside and motioned with his hand to the inside of the room.

“Elly, you look… amazing. Come on in.”

“Thanks.” I stepped in and looked around, taking note of his black bedspread, his magazine files for each of his classes, the tiny TV set on the dresser parallel to the bed. “So this is it, huh?”

He stepped up beside me, nodded, and looked around as if taking it in for the first time. “Yep, this is it. The pizza should be here any minute. Do you want to sit down?” He motioned to his bed with an outstretched arm. I sat down on his bed, probably looking every bit as uncomfortable as I felt. “So I’ve got two movies to choose from, Vanilla Sky with Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise or Zoolander with Ben Stiller.” He held them up for me to glance at briefly before setting them down on the bed next to me.

“Um…Vanilla Sky,” I said, pointing to it. He popped it in and then sat down next to me, his hand right next to mine on the bed.

Ten minutes into the movie he got up and laid down behind me on his side. He ran his hand slowly up my back causing my center to melt. “Lay back, relax. I won’t bite unless you ask me to.”

I chuckled and slipped off my shoes before laying down in front of him. He spooned me and I felt his hand on my hip, his hot breath on my ear as he watched the movie with a hand propping up his head.

Half an hour into the movie his hand, which had been so innocently resting on my hip, started to slide forward onto my stomach under my shirt. I felt my side seize up, and I giggled, discovering that I was ticklish there.

I grabbed his hand and put it back onto my hip. I didn’t turn to look back at him, but I sensed he felt a little put off. He kissed my cheek and then disappeared for a few minutes. When he came back he tried again but instead of his hand moving over my stomach it went for my chest. As his lips pressed against my neck, I felt my back arch and I pressed my breast into his hand. He squeezed it softly as he kissed his way to my mouth.

It felt like his hands were everywhere at once. I had no idea what to do with my hands. Did I put them on his back or on his face? I wasn’t sure, so they laid limp on either side of my head against the pillow. I felt the heat and liquid gather between my legs as he continued to kiss and fondle me and when his hand cupped me through my jeans, I bucked my hips and moaned. Woah! Who knew touching could feel so good?

He groaned as his hands then moved to my jeans, undoing the front of them quickly and then his own. “Oh baby, you’re so fucking hot.”

I lifted my hips when he pulled on my jeans, still unsure of what was going to happen. He tugged them down and then off, letting them fall onto the floor. He stood at the end of his bed as he discarded his own, revealing his plain white boxers. He was straining against the fabric.

I was curious about what it looked like but I didn’t want him to feel self-conscious with this girl staring at his penis so I forced my eyes up to his face. His eyes were focused on my panties. For a moment, I was worried that he didn’t like them but he seemed concerned only with getting them off of me as was evidenced by his quick hands.

Once my panties were off, his boxers were next, and before I could blink again he was on top of me. He was kissing me, then he slid his tip through my wetness and slowly slipped it inside. I felt the heat in my face and stayed still beneath him not sure what was going on. I kept my eyes closed, and wondered, briefly, where the pizza was. And how long sex usually took. And when it was supposed to be good.

He pulled back and reached into his bedside table drawer pulling out a condom. I heard the rip as the plastic made way for the rubber. He slid it on slowly, allowing me a look at his penis and then resumed his position. “You’re so hot, baby…” He pushed forward, slipping into my tightness, he felt a little resistance but didn’t stop, instead he thrust through and I bit my lower lip as I cried out.

“Fuck!” He groaned still going painfully slowly, I felt the ache start to dull down and soon I wanted him moving.

“Please,” I begged softly and his hips started to move spastically. His bit on his lower lip and threw his head back.

“I can’t… I can’t… FUCK!” He shouted at the same moment that he came inside me, I guessed. I didn’t feel anything, but he retreated and then left to go clean up in the bathroom leaving me alone. I felt like I had been split between my thighs. I rolled off the bed and slipped my clothes back on. The end credits weren’t even rolling yet, but I was ready to go.

I wasn’t sure if he realized he’d just taken my virginity, but surely if he did, he knew he was being a dick right now. Or was he? Maybe he was giving me privacy so that I could clean up or cry or leave or all of the above. I wasn’t going to stick around to ask him. I frowned as I left his room, the asshole took my virginity and didn’t even buy me dinner first.

I wouldn’t be so stupid the next time a man flashed his cute smile my way.

Chapter Three

After I showered to wash away the shame, I called my old roommate, Stacy, and asked her to meet me at the gym. I had to tell someone what had happened, and I knew she would keep it to herself.

She was already waiting outside as I arrived and I hooked my arm in hers as I pulled her inside with me.

The gym was empty around the cardio equipment. Just mirrors and TVs to greet us. There were free weights on the other side of the mirrored walls, but no one ever used those. And if they were being used, you could usually tell by all the grunting and man noises.

“Thanks for meeting me,” I said as we made our way to the stair-climbers. I was still very sore from losing my V-card, but I was hoping that the self-induced burning in my legs would take my mind off of it.

“Sure thing, thanks for saving me from eating a whole pizza by myself,” she grinned as she stepped on the machine beside me.

“Anytime. So…” I sighed and shook my head. I started slow on the machine, wincing a little.

“So…” She waited for me to begin.

“I met this guy at the g—“ I stopped myself and looked around in case he was here. I looked back at Stacy, no sign of Kyle. “At the gym. God, he was so cute and funny.”

Stacy nodded as she listened, her eyes on me.

“And you know, I’ve been so hung up on you-know-who and so ashamed of my body that I didn’t date or anything. Well…” I let my words trail off as I watched Stacy’s eyes widen.

“You went on a date?!” She sounded so thrilled for me. I hated to have to burst her happy bubble, but this wasn’t what the meeting was about.

The Story Continues on BooksBarbecue!

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