Most of the women she’d met since returning had moved to the bay in the years since Jess had last lived there. Many had partners who worked on the oil and gas platforms, which meant they were single parents two weeks out of four. They had more of an understanding of Jess’s life with Leo than women whose spouses worked regular hours in town. There were only a handful of women from her high school days still living in the bay and their welcome ranged from enthusiastic to lukewarm, depending on who they’d married. Although Jess had made her peace with her wild years, people had long memories. The irony was that during her period of indiscriminate sex with boys, none of those women were dating them.

Jess had no intention of apologizing. Nor did she wish to revisit those lackluster moments of inexpert sex in the sand dunes or on broken couches in beach shacks, even if the boys were now grown men and had likely learned a trick or two. With a couple of exceptions, the sex had never been about the boys or the elusive hope of an orgasm. It had been about her mother’s love of bourbon and rum ahead of her love for Jess. It had been about living life on her own terms and taking what she wanted and thought she deserved. It had worked right up until the terrifying moment at sixteen when she’d thought she was pregnant.

At first Jess had been paralytic with fury when Libby had disclosed her secret to Karen, but unlike Linda, Libby’s mother hadn’t hit her or screamed that she was a slut and a whore. Karen’s eyes had dimmed, but all she’d said was, “Before we panic, let’s find out what we’re dealing with.” Instead of taking her to the family planning clinic in town or even in Bairnsdale, she drove Jess the extra distance to Sale to protect her from the Kurnai Bay gossips. Libby had wanted to come and Jess had desperately wanted that too, but in that regard, Karen had been an immoveable force. Jess had spent the drive to Sale lurching between gratitude and shame, punctuated by moments of anger. She sensed Karen’s disappointment and discovered that she much preferred being called a useless waste of space—her mother’s favorite pejorative—than wearing Karen’s sadness.

On the drive home, Karen raised the elephant in the car. “You’ve had a scare and this time you were lucky. Please take the pill and use the condoms the clinic gave you.”

Jess stared out the window, burning with embarrassment. It had been bad enough when the nurse had banged on about it and demonstrated how to use the condoms on a carrot.