“Fine! But you’re not making sense either. As the local doctor, you champion children’s rights all the time. Hell, for years you ranted long and hard about how much Jess suffered at the hands of this town, yet you’re inflicting the same thing on Leo.”

“I’m not!”

“You are!”

“There’s no comparison. Leo is loved by his mother. You’re providing for him financially. He’s well fed and safe from harm.”

Nick sucked in a deep breath, the sound sharp and taut. “I’m his father. He deserves to know me.”

His words ripped her apart. “Why not go ahead and say it? Just get it over and done with.”

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The girls and I aren’t enough for you. You want to know him. You want a son!”

His body shook and he flung out his arms, looking as Mediterranean as his grandfather. “It wouldn’t matter if Leo was a girl. I’m trying to right a wrong, Libby. To find my integrity and be the honorable man you fell in love with. I’m owning my responsibilities.”

“What about your responsibilities to me?”

“Whatever I do, it’s never going to be enough, is it? I’ve tried reading those bloody self-help books you keep giving me about healing marriages after an affair, but none of them fit our situation. I didn’t have a long-standing affair. Hell, it wasn’t even an affair! It was a stupid mistake I regret every single day. But I’m not an island, Libby. When it happened, neither of us were capable of supporting each other.”

“That sounds like you’re parroting something a counselor said to you.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“None of this is my fault.”

“For fuck’s sake! When you say things like that it makes me think you really don’t want our marriage to survive.”

Although there’d been moments when Libby had wondered if they could ever come back from the world of pain, hurt and betrayal, Nick had constantly reiterated his desire to stay. At least he had until recently—but lately that reassurance was absent. She forced out words from a tight throat. “Do you want it to survive?”

“Yes! How many times do I need to say that before you hear me and believe me?” Misery pulled at his mouth. “But, Libby, if this living hell we’re enduring is as good as things are ever going to get between us, then no. I don’t want to live this way.”