It was like a knife plunged deep into her heart. Despite the risk of even more pain, she grabbed hold of the information, determined not to let go until she exposed the real story. “You keep insisting you thought it was me in bed with you even though I was in Melbourne.”

“I did.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

Rage kept her upright. “Want to know how I know you are? I don’t give you blow jobs!”

“I was drunk! Hell, I was more asleep than awake. My blood was in my dick, not my brain.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“What do you want me to say then?”

“I want to know why you did it?”

He sighed and rubbed his face, his three-day stubble reddening his palms. “I don’t know why. All I know is that I’d been feeling like shit for weeks and suddenly I was having this dream where for the first time in ages I felt warm and safe and the pain was fading. I’d have followed that feeling anywhere …”

He raised his eyes to hers, guilt and shame shining bright. “I dunno. I just remember coming to and wanting to keep feeling like that. I didn’t think too hard about who was in bed with me. I just concentrated on how it was making me feel …”

It was the first time Nick had admitted that he wasn’t the victim and that woman hadn’t taken total advantage of him.

“And Libs, you know what I’m like when I’m half asleep. Sex is instinct. You know it is. It’s not like you’ve never crawled on top of me and woken me up slowly.”

When Nick’s half asleep, he lets me do just about anything to him. A conversation she’d once had with Jess about sex went off in her head like the pop and scream of fire crackers. Her mouth dried. Jess had always been interested in her marriage and the girls, happily listening to her prattle on about everything, including her sex life. Had she given Jess the tools to seduce him? The thought brought her dinner rising fast to the back of her throat.

Nick misunderstood her distress and wrapped his arms around her. For the first time, she allowed it, letting her head sink onto his chest and welcoming the soft lub-dub of his heart. In his safe cocoon, she tried to unravel yet again how a friendship she’d valued so much had gone so horribly wrong.

“Tesoro mio, I’d do anything to turn back the clock. I wish I’d never invited her inside that night. Wish I’d never gotten drunk. Hell, I wish she’d never been your friend.”