Chapters (34)
‘Well,’ Matilda burst out. ‘I don’t like Paris. I never went there with him. I didn’t want to put our dog and cat in kennels. I just didn’t want to go. If I had I would have looked after him, not let him drop dead in the street, don’t you see? I know I betrayed him, of course I know. They found his pills in his hotel. If I’d been there – damn you, what right have you?’ Matilda felt despairing, angry. ‘I always saw that he carried his pills.’
‘You saved my life. That gives me the right. Folly and I have every right. We belong to you.’
‘No.’
‘Yes.’
Hugh buttered another piece of bread, fished in the pot for marmalade. Matilda stood with her back to the stove watching him pour more coffee, drink.
‘How do you know I won’t betray you? As a good citizen I should.’
Hugh grinned. ‘I don’t think you belong to the W.I.’
‘That’s not necessarily respectable.’
‘Of course it is. You don’t, do you?’
‘No.’
‘Well then.’
Matilda sighed.
‘And these children – where are they?’
‘Louise is married. She lives in Paris.’
‘Didn’t you want to see her when your husband –’
‘Not particularly. Mark is in business – he centres on Hamburg. Anabel is always on the move, I never know where she is. Claud lives in America.’
‘Do they come to see you?’
‘They telephone sometimes. They don’t really want to speak to me or I to them. What would we say?’
‘So they won’t have to talk to you at your funeral?’
‘That’s about it.’
‘So you thought you’d meet the Mutual Friend?’
‘It seemed the sensible thing.’
‘Sensible.’ He stressed the word.
‘Yes, sensible. Without Tom I’ve no attachment to life. The children don’t want me. I was left with our dog, our cat and Gus. The dog died four months ago, the cat was caught in a gin and died of blood poisoning. Gus could live another twenty years. I’ve found him a good safe home with geese. I’ve thought it all out, left everything tidy. There’s nothing left for me here. I’m off.’
‘But why? You can get another cat. You’ve got another dog.’
‘That dog’s yours not mine.’
‘I doubt it.’
‘Oh yes, she is. You picked her up. I don’t want her.’
They both turned their eyes on the dog who sat with her back to them, ears laid back.
‘We are embarrassing her.’ Hugh snapped his fingers. The dog jumped gratefully onto his knees.
Before Hugh could speak Matilda said hurriedly: