Back Judas Horse
Chapters (33)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Chapter 1
  4. Chapter 2
  5. Chapter 3
  6. Chapter 4
  7. Chapter 5
  8. Chapter 6
  9. Chapter 7
  10. Chapter 8
  11. Chapter 9
  12. Chapter 10
  13. Chapter 11
  14. Chapter 12
  15. Chapter 13
  16. Chapter 14
  17. Chapter 15
  18. Chapter 16
  19. Chapter 17
  20. Chapter 18
  21. Chapter 19
  22. Chapter 20
  23. Chapter 21
  24. Chapter 22
  25. Chapter 23
  26. Chapter 24
  27. Chapter 25
  28. Chapter 26
  29. Chapter 27
  30. Acknowledgements
  31. About the Author
  32. Readers’ Club
  33. Letter from Author

‘He’s working all the hours God sends, because if the baby turns out to be as poorly as she could be, we’ll need money. Truth is, he can’t earn enough in one lifetime to pay for all of the treatments, and carers, and medicines. And when he’s not working, he’s researching. Yesterday, he was telling me about a new, ground-breaking treatment in the US, where Doctors re-train the brain to use areas that are damaged. I don’t even know if that’s what we need! Maggie, do you know?’

Maggie assured Regina that no one knew enough just yet. For now, Mum and baby would be watched and looked after, day by day. And so would Dad, she added.

On the way out to the car, Maggie took Jack past the neo-natal unit. It wasn’t usual for non-relatives to be allowed in, but as Jack was with Maggie, the charge nurse made an exception. There were four incubators in the one room and the one nearest to the observation window held Regina’s baby. She was tiny, Jack thought, so tiny that instead of feeling how cute she was, he just felt fear for her future. ‘Jeez, Mags.’ Jack’s mind flashed back to two hours ago when he was holding Hannah in his arms. The baby he was looking at now was half Hannah’s size, if that. There was so much equipment surrounding her, so many tubes and lights and sounds. It looked like chaos. But all of the tiny, doll-like babies in the unit seemed to be sleeping soundly, oblivious to how precarious their hold on life actually was. ‘Is she . . . I mean, apart from her arms and the deafness, is she OK? Will she be OK?’

Maggie linked her arm through Jack’s and rested her head on his shoulder. She didn’t have an answer.

That night, Jack just watched Hannah sleeping for over an hour. He thought about Mathew and about Regina’s new baby, and how he and Maggie were so incredibly lucky.

*

Ridley pulled into his parking space at six thirty and then spent thirty minutes getting ready for his meeting with Jack, who walked into the squad room bang on seven. Ridley put two freshly brewed cups of tea on his desk and they got down to work.