‘OK.’ Dr Jones was on a roll now. ‘I was there, as was everybody else in this room. All of us were taken during one of those attacks, which is why we’re here now. There was no blood at all, because as the creatures rose out of the sea, they just tipped us out of the boats and absorbed any humans who fell into the water. There was no ripping of flesh, no hair pulling, no eyeballs being sucked out and no limbs being pulled apart. There was also, Albert, and I feel like we’ve talked about this before, there was also NO nudity. Why you think a species of scyphozoa would have an interest in removing your clothes, I have no idea.’

‘. . . naked as the day they were born, they returned to Hell, where the human race belongs. All the sinners . . .’

‘Nope. No nudity. We’ve still got our clothes on now, Albert, haven’t we?’

‘. . . and they devoured the flesh of all the humans. They preferred the young ones, for their juicy, fresh meat . . .’

‘And, again Albert, we’ve got no measurable evidence for any of these statements.’ Most of the audience avoided eye contact at this point, but it was true, technically. We hadn’t definitely seen it devouring anything. Just, you know, those slowly disappearing shapes beneath us.

‘And it seems unlikely that they have a preference for age or, just in case it comes up, gender.’

‘. . . they liked to rip apart the women, tearing at their breasts and pulling off their hair, a sign of women’s vanity . . .’

Dr Jones gave a very loud sigh. ‘Their breasts? Again, I’m unclear what evidence you’re using to base your hypothesis on.’

James gave a snigger.

‘Are you laughing because they said “breasts”?’ I whispered. ‘Absolutely!’ he whispered back. He was leaning back now, gleefully watching the whole performance and openly grinning. ‘Breasts!’ he repeated.

On my other side, Lana had her eyes open wide, and was making an effort not to show any emotion at all, which was giving her face a weird, stretched expression. I knew this would be a conversation we’d be analysing a lot tomorrow.

‘Look, Albert, what we know is very limited. The facts are few, because there simply wasn’t time for detailed scientific analysis before the world . . . well . . . ah . . . went into chaos.’

‘We don’t need no scientific gobbledegook to tell us . . .’

Dr Jones started talking more loudly. ‘Probably as a consequence of sea levels rising or climate change, creatures emerged from the deepest parts of the sea. They attacked ships in hefty numbers, though there were never “millions”, Albert. Their route of travel was never predictable, but they were able to travel quickly and silently, absorbing all life within their path. Fish as well as humans. We don’t think they could discriminate.’

‘. . . crushing ferries, destroying the world . . .’