So sorry, Monsieur, Herr, Señor, but you’re not quite man enough to touch.

As she walked away from all of them, her hips swayed in the rhythm of the French girls who ruled the Boulevard du Montparnasse.

Hot cha cha

Hot cha cha

Hot hot

Cha cha cha cha

She was twenty-six before she’d permitted another man to touch her, the young doctor who attended Arturo during his illness. He was handsome and kind, and his physician’s hands had been soothing with their caresses. She had enjoyed the closeness, but when he had tried to deepen the intimacy, she had frozen. He remained patient, but each time his hands slipped beneath her clothing, she was assaulted with memories of the night in the metal pool shed, memories of the young men she had allowed to heave over her. The physician was too much of a gentleman to tell her she wasn’t enough of a woman for him, and he disappeared from her life. She forced herself to accept the fact that she was irreparably damaged when it came to sex and resolved not to let herself grow bitter. After the heartbreak of Arturo’s death, she found other outlets for her softer emotions.

In Manhattan, she surrounded herself with gentle, gay men, some of whom she held in her arms when they died. These men were the ones who received the love and affection she possessed in so much abundance. These were the men who took the place of lovers who would only have reminded her she was less than a woman.

“Hello, cuz.”

She gave a strangled gasp and spun around to see Reed Chandler standing in a pool of light at the edge of the lawn, barely ten feet away.

“Still hiding in the bushes, Flea Belly?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Just paying my respects.”

She was no longer a defenseless child, and she fought against the fear he still inspired in her. During the funeral she had been too numb to note the changes in his appearance, but now she saw that, although his features had matured, he looked much the same as he had during his college days. She imagined that women were still attracted to his gangster’s good looks: the thick, blue-black hair, olive skin, and strong, stocky body. But the full lips that his various girlfriends had found so sensuous had always seemed merely greedy to her. That avaricious mouth reminded her of how much Reed had always wanted from life, and how much of what he wanted belonged to her.

She noted that he dressed more like a banker now than a gangster. His blue-and-white-striped oxford shirt and navy trousers looked custom-made, and as he lit a cigarette, she saw the flash of an expensive watch on his wrist. She remembered her father telling her that Reed worked for a commercial real estate firm. At first she had been surprised that he hadn’t gone to work for the Stars, but then she had realized that Reed was far too wily to give Bert that much control over his life.