He unwraps his arms from around my waist and presses a hand into the mattress next to us. He pulls himself up and then sits on the bed. His elbows rest on his knees and his hands are drawn up to his mouth.

I sit next to him, knowing we have to have this conversation, but not wanting to. “Naked truths?”

He nods.

I don’t know which one of us is supposed to go first. I don’t really have much to say to him at this point, so I wait for him to speak first.

“I don’t even know where to start, Lily.” He rubs his hands down his face.

“How about you start with, ‘I’m sorry I attacked you.’ ”

His eyes meet mine, wide with certainty. “Lily, you have no idea. I am so sorry. You have no idea what I’ve been through these past two months knowing what I’ve done to you.”

I clench my teeth together. I can feel my fingers as they fist around the blanket beside me.

I have no idea what he’s been through?

I shake my head, slowly. “You have no idea, Ryle.”

I stand up, the anger and hatred spilling out of me. I spin, pointing at him. “You have no idea! You have no idea what it’s like to go through what you’ve put me through! To fear for your life at the hands of the man you love? To get physically sick just thinking about what he’s done to you? You have no idea, Ryle! None! Fuck you! Fuck you for doing this to me!”

I suck in a huge breath, shocked at myself. The anger just came like a wave. I swipe at my tears and spin around, unable to look at him.

“Lily,” he says. “I don’t . . .”

“No!” I yell, spinning around again. “I am not finished! You don’t get to say your truth until I’ve said mine!”

He’s grabbing at his jaw, squeezing the stress out of it. He drops his eyes to the floor, unable to look at the rage in mine. I take three steps toward him and drop to my knees. I place my hands on his legs, forcing him to look me straight in the eyes while I speak to him.

“Yes. I kept the magnet Atlas gave me when we were kids. Yes. I kept the journals. No, I didn’t tell you about my tattoo. Yes, I probably should have. And yes, I still love him. And I’ll love him until I die, because he was a huge part of my life. And yes, I’m sure that hurts you. But none of that gave you the right to do what you did to me. Even if you would have walked into my bedroom and caught us in bed together, you still would not have the right to lay a hand on me, you goddamn son of a bitch!”

I push off his knees and stand up again. “Now it’s your turn!” I yell.