His eyebrows draw together, like my words somehow hurt him. “Lily, this is not something I wanted to be right about. I prayed every day that I was wrong about him.”

I wince. I shouldn’t have said that to him. I know better than to think Atlas would ever think something like I told you so.

He squeezes my shoulder and leans forward, kissing the top of my head. I close my eyes as I soak up the familiarity of him. His smell, his touch, his comfort. I’ve never understood how someone can be so rock solid, yet comforting. But that’s always how I’ve viewed him. Like he could withstand anything, but somehow still feels the weight that everyone else carries.

I don’t like that I was never fully able to let go of him, no matter how hard I tried. I think about the fight with Ryle over Atlas’s phone number. The fight about the magnet, the article, the things he read in my journal, the tattoo. None of that would have happened if I would have just let go of Atlas and thrown it all away. Ryle wouldn’t have had anything to be so upset with me about.

I pull my hands up to my face after that thought, upset that there’s a part of me trying to blame Ryle’s reaction on my lack of closure with Atlas.

There’s no excuse. None.

This is just another wave I’m being forced to ride on. A wave of complete and utter confusion.

Atlas can feel the change in my composure. “You okay?”

I’m not.

I’m not okay, because until this moment, I had no idea how hurt I still am that he never came back for me. If he’d have just come back for me like he promised, I would have never even met Ryle. And I would have never been in this situation.

Yep. I’m definitely confused. How am I possibly lending blame to Atlas for any of this?

“I think I need to call it a night,” I say quietly, pulling away from him. I stand up and Atlas stands up, too.

“I’ll be gone most of the day tomorrow,” he says. “Will you be here when I get home?”

I cringe at his question. Of course he wants me to get my shit together and find another place to stay. What am I even still doing here? “No. No, I can get a hotel, it’s fine.” I turn to walk toward the hallway, but he puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Lily,” he says, turning me around. “I wasn’t asking you to leave. I was just making sure you’d still be here. I want you to stay as long as you need to.”

His eyes are sincere, and if I didn’t think it would be a little inappropriate, I would throw my arms around him and hug him. Because I’m not ready to leave yet. Just a couple more days before I’m forced to figure out what my next step is.