“I know,” Anton said. “But there was something I needed to do, and I needed to do it alone.”

Pain blossomed on Jude’s face like a bruise. Anton remembered what he had said to Jude the night they’d left the Guard. I can’t do this without you. Maybe it was cruel to take that back now, but Anton would rather be cruel than tell Jude the truth.

“If you…” Jude’s voice shook. “If you really didn’t need me…”

Anton couldn’t stand the hurt in Jude’s eyes, knowing that he was the one who’d put it there. But neither could he explain that he did need Jude. More than he’d ever needed anyone. And that was exactly why he’d had to stay away from him.

“It was just … a Prophet thing,” he said. “The Wanderer was teaching me how to use my powers, to control them. It wasn’t that I didn’t need you, Jude, it was just that I needed to … focus.”

Jude’s brow creased. “And I’m what—a distraction?”

“Yes, actually.” Anton reached up and brushed a strand of Jude’s hair away from his face. “You were all I thought about as it was.”

Jude flushed a lovely pink that made Anton lose all sense and lean in to kiss him.

With a sharp noise like a breath being punched from his chest, Jude caught Anton’s wrist, reeling back. “You still shouldn’t have left me.”

I had to, Anton didn’t say.

“I haven’t forgiven you.”

“Oh,” Anton replied. “So you don’t want to kiss me.”

Jude’s gaze dropped to Anton’s mouth. “No.”

A smirk tugged at the corner of Anton’s lips. “Haven’t I told you you’re no good at bluffing?”

“Anton,” Jude said, sounding pained.

Anton softened. “I’m sorry. I mean it. I know that I hurt you and if you can’t forgive me or if you need time … I’ll be here. I promise.”

He held Jude’s gaze, hope welling in his chest despite himself. When Jude didn’t reply, Anton swallowed down his disappointment, mustered a rueful smile, and started to retreat.

And Jude, at last, reached for him. It was just a hand on Anton’s elbow, but it settled the unease that had gnawed at him since the moment he’d decided to go after Jude. Or, if he was being honest, since the moment he’d decided to stay away from him in the first place.

“I do,” Jude said haltingly, tense with the thrum of nervous energy.

“You do what?” Anton asked, heart leaping into his threat. Forgive me? Need time?

“Want to kiss you.”