Back Instead of the Thorn
Chapters (33)
  1. Chapter One
  2. Chapter Two
  3. Chapter Three
  4. Chapter Four
  5. Chapter Five
  6. Chapter Six
  7. Chapter Seven
  8. Chapter Eight
  9. Chapter Nine
  10. Chapter Ten
  11. Chapter Eleven
  12. Chapter Twelve
  13. Chapter Thirteen
  14. Chapter Fourteen
  15. Chapter Fifteen
  16. Chapter Sixteen
  17. Chapter Seventeen
  18. Chapter Eighteen
  19. Chapter Nineteen
  20. Chapter Twenty
  21. Chapter Twenty-One
  22. Chapter Twenty-Two
  23. Chapter Twenty-Three
  24. Chapter Twenty-Four
  25. Chapter Twenty-Five
  26. Chapter Twenty-Six
  27. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  28. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  30. Chapter Thirty
  31. Chapter Thirty-One
  32. Chapter Thirty-Two
  33. Chapter Thirty-Three

“You—you expect me to like living here—in the country, and you expect me to like your friends—and everything! And I don’t! oh, I don’t!” A sob rose in her throat.

“You don’t? A minute ago you said you wanted to stay here. Who don’t you like? Is it Nina?”

She was embarrassed, and sought to dissemble.

“I ought not to have said that. I didn’t really mean it. Things—get on my nerves. Please don’t pay any attention to it!”

Then his temper surged up, exasperated and hurt, and white-hot. He crushed her hands together; she saw the flame in his eyes and knew fear.

“God, can’t you be honest with me?” The words bit. “Say what you think, and damn my feelings! How can I help to straighten things out if you lie, and lie all the time? Say that you loathe Nina! Say you loathe the Halt, and Me, and let’s have it out! You may like groping about in a fog. I don’t! I was taught to be straight forward, not to cheat and lie!”

“How dare you?” she gasped. “Oh, how dare you? I hate you! How could you say such a thing to me? How could you? Oh, I hate you!”

The grip on her wrists was torture.

“Yes, we’ve got it out now,” he said grimly. “You hate me. Don’t try and say you didn’t mean it! I’d rather have it straight from the shoulder like that, than be fooled and cheated, and held at arm’s length!”

She was sobered for an instant, appalled at the storm she had roused.

“Ah, I didn’t mean that! I—I don’t hate you, Stephen! You—oh, you know I don’t!”

“I don’t know it. I’m beginning to feel that I know nothing about you. You’re wrapped round in a net-work of hypocritical evasions! You may think it’s fair to me; I don’t! D’you think I’m a fool to be deceived by your talk of ‘influenza’ and ‘to-morrow’? You don’t mean to live with me as my wife. You’re hoping the desire’ll die in me. You—little—fool, don’t you understand?”

“Let go my hands! You think me a fool! Oh yes, I’ve known that for a long time!”

“If you can cheat yourself into imagining that I’ll be content to live with you as we’re living now you certainly are a fool. Good God, Elizabeth, I love you!”

“You don’t! You’d never—treat me like this—!”

He laughed; it was an ugly sound, savage and mirthless.