Do you think a sponge thinks?

BRADY

If the Lord wishes a sponge to think, it thinks.

DRUMMOND

Does a man have the same privileges that a sponge does?

BRADY

Of course.

DRUMMOND

(Roaring, for the first time: stretching his arm toward CATES) This man wishes to be accorded the same privilege as a sponge! He wishes to think!

(There is some applause. The sound of it strikes BRADY exactly as if he had been slapped in the face.)

BRADY

But your client is wrong! He is deluded! He has lost his way!

DRUMMOND

It’s sad that we aren’t all gifted with your positive knowledge of Right and Wrong, Mr. Brady. (DRUMMOND strides to one of the uncalled witnesses seated behind him and takes from him a rock, about the size of a tennis ball. DRUMMOND weighs the rock in his hand as he saunters back toward BRADY) How old do you think this rock is?

BRADY

(Intoning)

I am more interested in the Rock of Ages, than I am in the Age of Rocks.

(A couple of die-hard “Amens.” DRUMMOND ignores this glib gag.)

DRUMMOND

Dr. Page of Oberlin College tells me that this rock is at least ten million years old.

BRADY

(Sarcastically)

Well, well, Colonel Drummond! You managed to sneak in some of that scientific testimony after all.

(DRUMMOND opens up the rock, which splits into two halves. He shows it to BRADY.)

DRUMMOND

Look, Mr. Brady. These are the fossil remains of a prehistoric marine creature, which was found in this very county—and which lived here millions of years ago, when these very mountain ranges were submerged in water.

BRADY

I know. The Bible gives a fine account of the flood. But your professor is a little mixed up on his dates. That rock is not more than six thousand years old.

DRUMMOND

How do you know?

BRADY

A fine Biblical scholar, Bishop Usher, has determined for us the exact date and hour of the Creation. It occurred in the year 4004 B.C.

DRUMMOND

That’s Bishop Usher’s opinion.

BRADY

It is not an opinion. It is literal fact, which the good Bishop arrived at through careful computation of the ages of the prophets as set down in the Old Testament. In fact, he determined that the Lord began the Creation on the 23rd of October in the Year 4004 B.C. at—uh, at 9 A.M.!

DRUMMOND

That Eastern Standard Time? (Laughter) Or Rocky Mountain Time? (More laughter) It wasn’t daylight-saving time, was it? Because the Lord didn’t make the sun until the fourth day!

BRADY

(Fidgeting)

That is correct.

DRUMMOND

(Sharply)

The first day. Was it a twenty-four-hour day?

BRADY

The Bible says it was a day.

DRUMMOND

There wasn’t any sun. How do you know how long it was?

BRADY

(Determined)

The Bible says it was a day.

DRUMMOND

A normal day, a literal day, a twenty-four-hour day?

(Pause. BRADY is unsure.)

BRADY

I do not know.

DRUMMOND

What do you think?

BRADY

(Floundering)

I do not think about things that…I do not think about!