“No smoking inside the building.  They’re not paying us to fuck it up worse.”

“Absolutely no drugs other than prescribed meds that you have already told me about.”

“No dragging ass or not showing up.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to be.  Unlike some of you, I’ll be up here for several months, and if I figure out you’re making that stay longer by slacking, I’ll have your ass.  You start work at eight, you go until six.  If you need more time, clear it with me.  If you get hurt or sick, clear it with me.  If you just don’t show up, pack your shit.  If you break one of the other rules, pack your shit.”

Bramford’s face was still stern, but he did smile a little as he went on.  “But for those of you that know me, none of that is a surprise.  They’re normal rules to prevent normal fuckery.  However…” He raised his index finger, “like I said, I know this place has a local history of spook stories and rumors.  And it is a big and kinda weird-looking place.  I know you’re all professionals and grown-ass men…and women, but I’ve been doing this shit for thirty years, and I’ve had crews get spooked before.  Waste time telling ghost stories and whatnot.  Again, we do not have time for that kind of silly shit, so just no.”

An older man sitting on one of the lobby sofas raised his hand and spoke when Bramford nodded at him.  “Mike, that’s all well and good, but tall tales aside, what’s the deal with this place?  I thought it had been shut down for years.  This stuff all looks like new.”  There were several murmurs of agreement across the crowd, and I found myself nodding along as well.  Bramford raised his hand and went on.

“Look Joe, I admit I was expecting it to be in worse shape too.  I came up this morning and walked the place over, and the whole thing is like that.  Maybe the county has had cleaning crews up here.  Or maybe the doors and windows just seal well and everything was left clean.  I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter.  All it does is make our job easier.  Okay?  Okay.”

“Now that we’ve got the fuckery talk out of the way, let’s talk about the job.  My contract is for two phases with a potential third phase if they like what we do.  Phase one is where we are now.  Assessment.  As you all know, you were hired to do a specific job.  Some of you are here to evaluate the building itself.  Plumbing, electric, structural defects.  I expect it will have some of each.  It’ll probably have some unique quirks also, given how old it is.”