Two of the leather and lace-trimmed quartet turned toward me, and as I turned away, I saw one of the women flick a bejeweled middle finger in my direction. Feeling a combination of irritation and embarrassment, I trundled on home to ask my wife what the fuck it was I had just encountered.

****

“Sounds like Victorian Steampunk, dear.”

I stared at Jessica with a kind of slack-jawed expectancy, feeling sure that there was some further explanation coming. That she hadn’t thought that those five words would impart any kind of real knowledge without further context. But then I could tell from her expression that she intended to leave me hanging, enjoying the scene of me dangling from my lonely branch of cultural ignorance.

“And what, my love, is Victorian Steampunk?”

She glanced back down at her cell phone as she made an attempt at looking distracted and slightly bemused. “Hmm. I think it’s kind of like cosplay or something?”

I felt a vein throb near my temple. She was enjoying this greatly. “I see. And what is costplay?”

I saw her suppressing a giggle as she looked back up at me. “Cosplay. You know, people dress up like superheroes and aliens and shit? You really don’t know about that? I’d think it’d be right up your alley.”

I gave her a dismissive sniff as I stepped into the kitchen to start fixing dinner. “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t fill my head with garbage.” A light snicker from the other room. Shaking my head resignedly, I called to her. “What do you want me to fix you?”

There was a pause, and when she spoke, the mirth was out of her voice. “I don’t want anything. I’m not hungry.”

Letting out a quiet sigh, I went back into the living room and sat down on the sofa next to Jessica. “You know you have to keep your strength up. You need food.” She started to argue and I pressed a gentle finger to her lips. “You need to do as I ask for the next few days, all right?” Kissing my finger, she nodded.

“I’m sorry, I know you know what you’re doing. That you’re looking out for me. And I don’t mean to make fun when you don’t know stuff.”

I gave her a small smile and patted her leg. “It’s all right. I think I just feel insecure sometimes because you’re younger than me. Things like this just remind me and make me feel a bit old some times.” She leaned forward and kissed my lips.

“You’re not old. You’re perfect.” Her eyes were shining with love when she pulled back. “And I would love some spaghetti with marinara.”

Beaming at her, I kissed her forehead and stood up. “As you wish.” I turned to head back into the kitchen when she called to me again.