Summer: Half-sister. And as you should be. But don’t forget she wasn’t a saint to you.

Rory: Still. What do I do?

Summer: You pack a bag and say goodbye to Cillian Murphy Junior. This has trouble written all over it. He is officially available and after your ass.

Rory: A. We’re working together, and B. He looks NOTHING like Cillian Murphy.

Summer: A. I don’t care, and B. Shame, huh?

Rory: Seriously, what do I do?

Summer: Mal. You are about to do Mal.

Rory: How could you be so callous about her death?

Summer: After the things she told you before you left, how could you NOT?

Rory: I need to tell you something else.

Summer: I knew it would get worse. I knew it. Tell me.

Rory: He kept the napkin.

Summer: How do you know?!?!

Rory: He left it on my nightstand last night.

Summer: $#%$%&^^*#%#!!%%^&^%&%^

Rory: After he told me he wanted us to surrender to our promises to each other.

Summer: <GIF of J. Alexander, America’s Next Top Model judge, looking scandalized>

Rory: I can’t believe you’re making fun of the situation. This is serious.

Summer: It’s serious that he is a widower. It’s serious that I told you this wasn’t a good idea. It is NOT serious that you’re about to live on a cloud of orgasms for the next few weeks, which will cost you your perfect boyfriend.

Rory: I’m not going to cheat on Callum.

Summer: Mark my words. By the end of today, you are naked in his bed.

A NOTE FROM SUMMER

I have a confession to make, but guys, it’s going to be an awful one.

It’s not that I’m an awful person. It’s that I’m real. I wish I could be less real. I wish I could be a bubbly TV or book character who is always helpful and nice and loyal. But I’m not.

We all have baggage, and mine landed me in hot water a few months ago.

All I want you to know at this point is that I love my best friend very, very much and always will.

But love comes in different sizes and shapes, and it’s not always the full range of positive feelings you imagine when you think about it.

I love Rory, but sometimes I want her to snap out of it.

She is so naïve, so self-centered, so clueless.

Who goes to Ireland to work with the love of her life for two months, leaving a boyfriend she clearly doesn’t love behind?

She does.

This is going to end in tears.

I just hope I’ll be there to wipe them.

Oh, and as for the confession? You’ll see.

Present

Rory