“What’s happening?” River asked, still cupping the berry.

Addison stretched out her arms as she looked down at the vines. “I don’t know. I thought the garden was starving, but this much growth…” She shook her head. “It gave us what we asked for.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” River poked the blackberry. “After what happened at the funeral…”

“It’s going to hurt,” Addison said. “It’s not just the good in there. All the grief, the guilt. You’re going to feel that, too.”

River nodded slowly and brought the fruit to his lips. He closed his eyes as he set it on his tongue. Then, he bit in. All at once his body went rigid, and a soft cry escaped his mouth. Sorrow rolled off him. His shoulders hunched forward, and he started to shake. Tears splashed onto the soil at his feet.

“I… forgot,” he managed after a few moments. Then he laughed, voice thick. “It’s like I’m living that night all over again.”

“I’m sorry. I wanted to save you from this,” Addison whispered. “That was all I was trying to do.”

“I never wanted to be saved. I just didn’t want to be alone.” He brushed the back of his hand across his face and let out a choked sob. But when he looked up at her, he had light in his eyes. “It’s here,” he said. “My grandfather—he was so proud of me, of the man I was becoming.” He splayed a hand over his heart. “He loved me,” he whispered. Then, louder, “He loved me.”

He pressed his palms over his eyes and shook his head, his tears at once sorrow and joy. “I’d forgotten.”

“I know,” Addison whispered. “I’m sorry.”

She started to stand, but River grabbed her hand before she could.

“I never should’ve pushed you away,” he said. “I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had to find myself. To remake myself.”

“I get it.” Addison shook her head. “But I realized how broken I was that night, and there was no one on the other side to help me put myself back together again. I love Quinn like a sister, but you were more than just a boyfriend. You were my best friend; I didn’t know how to function in a world without you.”

“It’s been so hard without you, too,” he said. “I looked for you at my graduation. I know I asked you not to come, but I found myself searching for you anyway.”

“I look for you every time I go to Baker’s,” Addison said, “even though I know you won’t be there.”