Back In the Land of Oz
Chapters (29)
  1. Title Page
  2. Dedication
  3. Preface to the New Edition
  4. Contents
  5. Map
  6. 1 On Wings of Poesy
  7. 2 Shiklone Troicee and After
  8. 3 Bungle Bungle
  9. 4 Arse-End Charlie
  10. 5 Umpie Bong
  11. 6 Neither an Ong nor a Mo
  12. 7 Et in Arcadia Nos
  13. 8 Lost Orisons
  14. 9 Granny Apples
  15. 10 The Town with a HEART of Gold
  16. 11 A Roomette with a View
  17. 12 Ich Hatt’ Einst Ein Schön’ Vaterland
  18. 13 Wher. Edna. Laide. Me
  19. 14 ‘An Interesting Place With Lots of Sandhills’
  20. 15 Mintja
  21. 16 Ghostbusting
  22. 17 The Townsville Hoist
  23. 18 Gone Troppo
  24. 19 The Expulsion From Paradise
  25. 20 Found! – The Spangled Drongo
  26. About the Author
  27. By the Same Author
  28. Copyright Page
  29. Adverts

In the playground – where she was refereeing a game of Pitjantjatjara rounders – I met Jane, another teacher at the school, who told me almost immediately, as a piece of information without which I couldn’t be expected to understand her, that she came from Moree, the country town in the far north-west of New South Wales. I would have been more surprised by the degree to which Jane was ‘dressed’ and ‘made-up’ had I not had some experience in the past of country school teachers in Australia – I’d been an educational book rep in the early seventies, travelling around Victoria with a boot-load of set texts – and their greater conscientiousness, in matters of personal presentation and couture, than their equivalents in Britain. Australian teachers altogether spruced themselves up for their work in a manner that would have been unthinkable to any of the elbow-patched paupers who had passed on the values of civilization to me. But it was strange, for all that, to see Jane standing in her French high-heeled shoes in the dust bowl that was the Areyonga school playground, a silk scarf that might have come from Yves Saint-Laurent about her shoulders and a tin whistle to her scarlet lips.

‘I am very much a Moree girl,’ she told me. Which was meant to explain such disparities as her comme il faut (though not comme il faut à l’Areyonga) style and appearance, her sense of separateness, and her mistrust of the prevailing tone of social informality. ‘People keep wanting to borrow things,’ she said, ‘and I just don’t believe in lending them. Not even to good friends.’ I took this to be outback wisdom speaking; Moree was probably even more remote than Areyonga – lend something to a person in Moree and it would be ten years before you next saw the person let alone the thing.

But she was also a Moree girl in the sense that that was where she was most happy. ‘There is nothing I love more than to return to Moree in the early evening, to walk into town, and to see a pair of moleskins in front of me. Then I know I’m home.’

This was saucy: moleskins were the trousers that the menfolk of Moree wore.

Just before we parted she asked me what I did, and in that case what their titles were. ‘So that I can pass an opinion,’ she said. I wrote them down for her. She scrutinized the scrap of paper and then folded it neatly into her sac. ‘Now I can pass an opinon,’ she said. It sounded very deadly. I suddenly had an intimation of what it might be like to be a chap in Moree, awaiting her appraisal of his moleskins.