It fell to Steve Jennings from Hames Sharley to present the report itself. This seemed to me to suffer from (a) a distinct unoriginality of Goldfields visitor desideratum discernment, to wit its recommendation of (i) a casino, and (ii) more barbecue facilities in public places; (b) Steve Jennings’ own low charisma-factor rating; and (c) his inability to exert any control over his left hand, which hovered in front of him as he spoke, like a magician’s dancing ball, without reference to his meaning or his will.

‘He’s been affected by Halley’s Comet, this bloke,’ Digger Daws whispered to me.

While Steve Jennings struggled with his haunted hand, failing in all attempts to conceal it in his pocket or behind his back, the rest of the official party became deeply engrossed in the minutiae of their own persons. Brett Goodridge found things in his nose he never knew existed. Terry McVeigh, the Director of Investment and Regional Development for the Tourism Commission, lost vision in both eyes, so vigorously had he cleaned them with the pointed corners of his handkerchief. Ted Cockram stared in disbelief at what was growing from his knuckles. Then at last it was over and Steve Jennings was back in his seat. Before throwing discussion open to the floor, Terry McVeigh rose, like Samson in Gaza, to remind us of our responsibilities to the future. ‘At the end of the day we’ve all got to live with the infrastructure that gets put on the ground,’ he said.

‘He’s a bloody lecturer,’ Digger Daws whispered.

The first person on his feet with a query was Dick Lamb. There were a few things he wanted to be clear about in relation to the proposal to extend caravan park facilities in the region. ‘Bearing in mind that caravan parks are used by itinerants as well as tourists,’ he said, ‘I would like to ask Mr Jennings how far he has dichotomized and stratified his data.’