“I came right in the front door, down the hall and stood looking in the dining room at the two of you. He was off, wild, talking about somebody, I don’t know who. And you, braced back in your chair like you’d been hit. And not either one of you aware I was there. So I went out and came around here. And seen that gun leaned up against the wall and knew you had a reason for it being there. I didn’t know what to do. All I could do was sit here and wait, thinking if you came through the door in a hurry I could maybe stop whatever was coming after you.”

He looked at her then, the wet girl. “Is that what you thought?”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

He shook his head. “Whatever is after me, that shotgun wouldn’t be much good. I’m not making fun.”

Both quiet then. She was so lovely. He thought This is how it is, with all of them. Someway. His father and mother. His grandfather and grandmother. Even all skewed and twisted the old man in the house pale clean scent of her skin, her wet clothes. Her head laid sideways against his chest, her face turned down so he saw the crown of her head, the split-through to her scalp where her hair fell apart, the delicate rib of the back of her ear, the smooth swelling column of her neck going into the collar of the shirt. And when he stopped crying he still stood holding her, held her until they were both silent and still and he could feel her life against him, the beating of her heart. And stepped away when he felt himself begin to rise against her.

“Oh boy,” he said, turning from her, “am I ever fucked up.” And he took the box of his father’s stale cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket and lighted one and squatted in the rain at the open door of the cabin. And then, as if released, the two dogs came off the bed and went out the door into the rain, tracking again through the yard. He squatted there smoking, watching the dogs. The smoke came off in slow wrought spirals that held out in the rain before breaking apart. Behind him he heard her sit once again on the bed, the faint clicking sound as the tick settled.

“Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know.” He did not look back at her.

“Back north?”