His voice caught. He closed his eyes.

Serena felt tears on her cheeks.

“I am so sorry,” she said.

He exhaled a long, slow breath. “No, I’m sorry. This isn’t fair to you.”

“You don’t have to keep things from me,” Serena told him. “It took me a long time to be vulnerable around you. I was so busy protecting myself that I forgot that you had demons of your own.”

“It’s this case. It’s brought it all back.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I don’t know. I spent years getting over Cindy. Now I feel like the stitches have been ripped open.”

Serena wondered whether to say anything. “Is it making you question things?” she asked.

“Like what?”

“Me.”

She saw his face cloud over.

“Don’t think that,” he said. “That’s not it at all.”

She thought he was trying to convince himself.

“There are days when I feel like I’m competing with a ghost,” she admitted. “Someone who’s always perfect, who’s always young.”

“There’s no competition. I apologize if I ever made you feel that way.”

“No, this is my problem, not yours.”

“It’s not that this case makes me miss Cindy any more than I do already,” Stride told her. “I always will, you know that. The hard part is that I’m learning things that make me question my whole life. Cindy was keeping secrets from me. I never would have thought that was possible.”

He told her about meeting Tish on the beach and about everything she had shared with him. He gestured at the boxes and said, “I’ve been through all of Cindy’s old papers. There isn’t a word about Tish anywhere. She was hiding something, and for some reason, she decided not to share it with me. I don’t understand.”

“Don’t be too quick to believe what Tish tells you,” Serena warned him. “This woman has her own agenda. I’m worried that she’s playing with your head, Jonny. I don’t know what her game is, but I don’t like it.”

“If she wanted to get me hooked, I’m hooked,” Stride said. “All I can do is keep following the trail.”

“Just don’t start doubting your past because of her. Maybe there’s a reason Cindy never mentioned Tish to you. Maybe Tish is lying.”

Stride nodded. “I know. I thought about that, too, but there’s a casualness in how she talks about Cindy. I really think they knew each other. She may be lying about other things, but not about that.”

Serena wasn’t convinced. “I think you should let this case go.”

“You’re probably right, but I can’t.”

“You’re not going to get the satisfaction you want. Pat Burns is right, and you know it. This case isn’t going to trial unless someone decides to confess, which isn’t going to happen. So exactly what do you hope to accomplish?”

Stride began to gather up the leftovers from Cindy’s life and put them back in their boxes. He handled each item delicately, as if it were an antique that might break apart in his hands if he was too rough. “I’m not sure.”