Things felt oddly calm, and I noticed there were more smiles on people’s faces than I had seen in nearly a year, Cal’s included. The months since Rosie’s return had been trying to say the least. Little by little, Rosie had warmed to Cal, but he was different than he had been before. While he never spoke of his stint in the asylum, it was evident that whatever had happened within those walls had changed him. He rarely left the apartment and when he did, he only ventured out accompanied by either Cal or myself. Most of his days were spent pacing the floor of the living room and sitting on the foot of his bed. Sometimes, Rosie helped Cal make moonshine, but the pressure that built in the pot had Rosie too nervous to stand close to the stove for long periods of time. He’d slowly back away, afraid the lid would blow, and shut himself in his bedroom until Cal was done. Cal felt guilty about doing something that caused Rosie stress, but his partnership with Maks was going well, and the demand for his moonshine was greater than ever. Between the clams Cal was pulling in and my numbers game, we were doing well. When Igor informed me that unemployment was lower than it had been in six years, hovering at around fourteen percent, I knew it would be good for business. With more people making money, there would be more money making its way around, which meant more in our pockets.

Regardless of how successful Cal’s moonshine racket had become, it was only a matter of time before he picked up his pots, and Rosie, and made his way across the country to California. Though Cal maintained that he wouldn’t go without me, I knew it wasn’t true by the sheer amount of time he spent begging me to reconsider. And I did reconsider. I spent slews of sleepless nights trying to understand what held me back from escaping a city that had long since abandoned me, a family who didn’t know who I was, and an outfit that would easily replace me with a new numbers runner at Ricky’s. What was worth staying for if he was away? There was no good answer, yet I was unable to shift my perspective enough to believe I deserved the chance at being free in San Francisco with Cal. Maybe I was always meant to meet him and lose him, another Tunguska event that would frame the remainder of my life like the first had defined my childhood. From destruction to obstruction, something would forever stand in my way, even if it was just myself.