“What world do you live in where that would be a good idea?” I cried, wondering if he was certifiably insane, if I’d gotten completely wrapped up with a genuine lunatic. “Do your eyes completely avert from the reality surrounding us? Things are getting harder, not easier. The crack in the door you thought was going to bust it open is gone now. Shut. That quickly.” I snapped my fingers for emphasis and he snapped mockingly in return. In that moment I hated him. I hated him so badly I wanted to shake him. Gritting my teeth, I listened as he continued his bullshit.

“It didn’t even have to be a big deal. You could have said we were friends.”

“I don’t have friends, and if I did, I wouldn’t bring them to my brother’s wedding. It’s weird.”

“I consider you my best friend.”

Suddenly, I hated him less, so much less it was as though I hadn’t hated him seconds before.

“Rosie’s your best friend,” I disagreed. “I’m your … more than that.”

Cal tsked. “You’re my everything, but what am I to you? Your secret? I can’t even be brought around as a buddy? You’re that ashamed of who I am?”

“You’re being unreasonable. You know it’s not like that.” I reached for his hand, but he brushed me away.

“Do you know why I left Georgia?”

“I want to know. I’ve asked,” I reminded.

“I left because I wasn’t willing to pretend I wasn’t who I was. If I had stayed in Douglas, I would have had to live my whole life portraying myself as someone my family thought I should be. They knew I was queer. I told them.”

“You did?” I asked. I was sure I was staring at him as though he had four heads from the way he was looking back at me.

“Yes,” Cal answered slowly, as if I were too dense to comprehend the simple world.

“What did they say?”

“They said I could be whoever I wanted to be behind closed doors, but out in the open I was to live my life the way a southern gentleman would. They expected me to live a traditional life with a wife and children”

“They were okay with your proclivities as long as nobody saw them?”

“I guess.”

Cal didn’t realize how lucky he was, how differently sharing my truth with my family would go for me, for so many other people like us.

“And you left?”

“I didn’t want to hide, to marry a woman, to have children with her. I wasn’t willing to live a lie, so I found a place where I didn’t have to.”

“Things are changing here, Cal, and not in the way you want them to. There are consequences for being queer. Look at the clubs. That’s just the start.”