Back If You Could See the Sun Save as PDF
Contents ( 21)
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  21. Acknowledgments

“It doesn’t matter what people think—”

“Bullshit,” I say hotly. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. Perception is everything. Money would just be colored paper if we didn’t all think it was important.”

“Cotton, actually.”

“What?”

“Contrary to popular belief, money is mostly made out of cotton,” he says, as if this is life-changing information. “Just thought you’d want to know. But do go on.”

The idea of murdering him flits through my mind.

“My point is,” I say through gritted teeth, “when a large enough number of people collectively care enough about something—no matter how superficial or arbitrary or inherently worthless it is—it starts to carry value. It’s like when people say it doesn’t matter where you get your education, but watch how fast they change their attitude, their tone when you tell them you go to Airington.” I suck in a breath, curl my trembling hands into fists. “Even just now. Mr. Murphy was already looking at me differently because I—” I swallow. “Because I fucked up on that one test.”

Surprise flashes across Henry’s face. I don’t think anyone at Airington has ever heard me swear out loud before. It’s kind of liberating, really. Cathartic. It even makes me feel a little better—

Until one of the classroom doors down the hall swings open, and Julie Walsh steps out.

Her narrowed eyes instantly land on me, and she comes marching straight over, thin heels clacking, sleek blond hair bobbing with every step, her lips pressed into a tight line. As she draws closer, the strong, sickly sweet scent of her perfume hits my nose. I try not to choke.

“Such foul language,” she hisses, shaking her head. “Honestly, after everything we’ve taught you here at Airington, is this really how you wish to conduct yourself?”

A mixture of embarrassment and annoyance snake under my skin. I’m tempted to tell her about the number of Chinese and Korean swear words students have used right in front of her face in the past week alone, but because I still have somewhat of a will to live—and because I’d never throw the other kids under the bus like that—I decide against it.

“Sorry, Ju—” I catch myself just in time. “Dr. Walsh.”

“Hmph. You certainly should be.” She sniffs. “Don’t let me catch you swearing again, Vanessa Liu, or there will be consequences.”

I look up at her, stunned. Like Mr. Murphy, she’s been teaching me for five years—surely she must know who I am? My name, at least? Besides, Vanessa and I don’t even look remotely alike; her face is sharp and long whereas mine is wide, her nose petite while mine is round, and her skin is at least five shades paler thanks to all her Korean skincare products. Anyone with eyes should be able to tell the difference between us.

I wait for Julie to realize her mistake, to correct herself.

She doesn’t.

Just stares me down with those cold blue eyes like she expects me to apologize again.