We rush through the doors of Countee Cullen Library, located on 136th Street. We enter loudly, and the librarian greets us with a scowl. We slow down and look around for what we came for. It’s in the center of the library—a bust of Countee Cullen. His poem “Incident” is etched in stone at the base.

I get down on my knees and lean in really close. I spot a small gray strip of paper taped to the base. It’s about the size of the strip inside a fortune cookie. I carefully peel it off.

“What’s it say?” Dell asks.

It’s a series of numbers in the Dewey decimal system. I know exactly where this book is—we head straight for the African American Lit. section and take out a large book titled Countee Cullen: Collected Poems. In the center of the book is a white envelope.

I pull it out and hold my breath as I open it.

Just as before, there are three things in the envelope: key number two, a smaller envelope that will no doubt give us the last set of clues, and some more pages ripped from my mother’s journal. I kiss the second key and put it in my back pocket, along with the clue for the third key. Right now, I want to read the journal. If this entry is as telling as the first one, I will get to know my mom in a whole new way.

June 24, 1995

Dear Janet,

A few weeks ago, I was thinking about getting a perm. I’ve been asking my mama to let me get one forever, and she always says no.

She says, “All perms do is take the fight out of your hair. You a Black girl; you gonna need all the fight you got.”

I said, “There’s nothing wrong with having soft and gentle hair!”

And then she goes, “The world don’t take kindly to anything soft or gentle. Best not aim for that.” I mean, like, for real? Do we have to go all “Fight the Power” even for hair?

Well, I got tired of waiting for Mama to agree with me and started thinking about doing it anyway. I didn’t really have a plan or anything, until . . .

My homegirls and me were hanging at Ladonna’s house, talking about guys. Tia was talking about how romantic her boyfriend was and how he’s not try’n to rush her into anything. All us girls looked at each other, because we knew better. Her man was working real hard to get her to give it up. That’s why he had “I’ll Make Love to You” on repeat.

We talked about guys some more, but then Biggie’s “One More Chance” came on Hot 97 and there was only time to rap along—loudly.